Is is "hard" being a sahm?
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Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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It is so ironic, because i think most of us have an "idea" of what we(wives and husbands alike) think marriage is and should be, and when it is not, we get bent out of shape without looking at the whole picture. i fought tooth and nail for years, because my dh is so quiet, doesnt understand me and blamed it on the fact that he has unattentive parents and no sisters, when the bottom line is, he is what he is, i married him, and he does care very much. with his upbringing, he is not equipped to "be what i want/think he should be", so i have finally(DUHHHH) come to realize he is doing his best. he is honest, genuine, caring, hard working, concerned, loving, a great dad and someone i am happy i married. he is simply *not* the communicator i wish he was, and never will be, and its not up to me to *make* him be. BUT, in knowing hes not a communicator, sometimes i *have* to work overtime drawing his thoughts out to help us both understand each other. I know at this point, you are probably sick of hearing any kind of defense for him and actually, i am not defending him at all, as i do really understand your feelings, and sympathize with you. my dh would never blatantly tell me what he expects of me, but actions do speak louder than words, and when one does nothing to help fix dinner, and is too tired to do anything, but has the strength to come feed his face and then get up and go lie back down, the message is loud and clear!! thank goodness its not like that anymore, but my point is, that is what he expected because he knew nothing else. he didnt know people with penises are capable of setting/clearing a table, and sticking around til everything was done, until i brought it to his attention. question, and not sarcastic at all because this is a very serious issue...do you ask your dh to cart the kids around? sometimes we get into a routine, and change needs to be forced. it probably hasnt dawned on him, his driving the kids to wherever would give you relief *and* tell you he cares.
enough rambling, but these are all things that come to mind while reading this thread, and i do wish you luck, and peace while dealing with this.
beth
And my next sentence was that it was a solution to a SPECIFIC problem, and that I never recommended the book to you, I recommended to a guy with a wife that did nothing.
I get it... he's a bastard because he thinks it's all her fault, when actually it's all HIS fault, according to her.
Who knows, I don't know him.
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