Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 1:11pm
If his goal was to make the marriage then why didn't he buy a book for himself about what he can do to make it better?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 1:17pm

Now wait a minute.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 1:20pm
Holding my head and moaning, "haven't we come further than this?"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 1:24pm

Where you guys always this way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 1:27pm
Did you really read TM's post?

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 1:30pm

Marriage isn't about two people doing whatever makes them happy with no regard for the other spouse.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 2:01pm
No. Clearly the "Men are Idiots who must be handled like grunting oafs" camp is alive and well.

The real irony of this kind of attitude is that it's so insulting and disrespectful of men in general, but those of us who don't subscribe to such nonsense are called "man haters."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 2:19pm
At this time, no. The girls are in Yamaha classes. The kids track together as a group. She's already one of the older kids in her group (I found out about the school when she was 5 when her private teacher quit so she started late). Taking her out now would mean she's done. There's no way we could get her back in. It would be a major feat just to get her up to speed once she quit.

I actually would prefer dd take a different instrument next year but it's her choice. She's choosing to stay with the one she knows and I can understand that. Given that she really doesn't like playing the piano that much, I was hoping she'd pick an instrument she does like. She's my quitter kid so just having her quit is NOT an option. Left up to her, she simply wouldn't bother. She really needs to learn to see things through. Completing the Yamaha series would be good for her. She has 2 1/2 - 3 years after this one if she goes that route. She may not be particularly talented or even like playing much but the sense of accomplishment she gets from mastering a piece is priceless. She's really come a long way in this last year towards overcomming her defeatest attitude (but not far enough to try a NEW and UNKNOWN instrument, lol). While she's not chomping at the bit to learn new pieces like her sister, she is getting over her belief that she CAN'T do anything she doesn't already know how to do.

However, I'm actually not having an issue with meeting my time constraints. I'm tired but it's the good tired that comes from getting things done. I'm not the one complaining so I don't see why I need to be tbe one to give up things I view as important. The way I see it, if dh wants to make time, he can by doing some of it for me. If more time isn't that important to him, why should it be imporatant enough to take the risks I'd be taking if I did start cutting activities for me? The problem, it appears, is it's only important to dh that *I* make it happen. It's not important enough to him that he help make it happen. Something tells me even if I did drop activities, he wouldn't be happy.

Dh has a history of not putting in effort and ending up unhappy with the result. Every Christmas is an episode. Dh has this idea in his mind what Chirstmas should be but does NOTHING to make it happen (It's like he's waiting for Santa to come down the chimney and make all his dreams come true). I do all the decorating, baking and shopping and it never lives up to his expectations. Granted I do it my way. He never gives his 2 cents until after the fact anyway. I have a feeling me cutting out things I think are important to try and make his life what he wants would juse be more of the same. He'd just tell me I did it wrong. Life would be much easier if he'd just make happen what he wants to happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 3:29pm
And are too selfish to make our menfolk happy, presumably by keeping the beer cold, the kids quiet, the sex hot, and giving him time and space to scratch his ba!!s to his heart's content.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 3:35pm
Uh, those laws dont apply to wiretapping your OWN computer.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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