Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:13pm
One BIG difference. I'm going BACK TO SCHOOL to get an education as a teacher. She just hung out a shingle and used the title from her non psychology degree!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:15pm
Also, unlike Laura S., I'm going back to school to make the career change. If I were Laura S. I'd just walk into the classroom. After all, one degree is as good as another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:24pm
Pfftttt....

LOL and spewing bombay and tonic all over the screen.

Now, my dh spent most of today installing a hot water heater in one of our rental properties. If he's also scratching his balls I don't want to know about it unless he invites me to join him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:24pm
She is still guilty of misuing her title. Why call herself Dr. Laura if she's not practicing what her doctorate is in? Besides, I'll bet many of her listeners don't know what a physiology degree is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:26pm
Blowing the monsters out of the closet worked for my dd. We'd stand at the door and blow as hard as we could just before bed time to drive all the spooky things out of the room. Sometimes, kids just need you to do something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:27pm
I know, I know!!! Because THAT would require effort on HIS part, lol.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:29pm

Maybe neither of you are right.


Funny, though, that I never suggested that you stop helping your children, yet that's all you heard.


Like I said before, if you don't think there's anything worth salvaging in the marriage, then there isn't. But you're not being honest if you lay it all at the feet of your dh, and you're not doing your children any favors by giving them a role model that absolutely refuses to take any responsibility for the breakdown of a marriage.


I understand that you're hurt and angry. You wouldn't be human if you weren't. But anger and self-rightousness are two different things. If you plan on divorcing, you need to do it with your eyes and your heart open. The fact is that divorcing your dh isn't going to change the kind of parent he is. He's going to be EXACTLY the same as he is right now, only odds are that for the next couple of years everything will be magnified tenfold, and in many ways you will have even less control over the situation than you have now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:30pm
You're completely right. They're not required to do so. They have the right to be as shallow and tacky as they want.

Carol

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:31pm
You must have me confused with someone else. What man have I ever "ragged on"? I hardly consider it "ragging on a man" to suggest men are both intelligent and complex, as well as perfectly capable of holding up their end of a relationship....or conversely, dragging it down. I'm neither of the opinion that women are the cause for divorce today...nor that men are and I would certainly insist on links to the contrary if you were to suggest otherwise....like you just did.

Feel free to either link any post I've made suggesting any such thing (i.e., it's fair to "rag on a man"), or offer your apology.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:31pm

I'd call that a bid for attention.


What exactly have you been doing to show appreciation for your dh? What have you done to let him know you respect him?

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