Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:39pm
I suppose people have different reasons for getting married, but that's sad.

I still think, though, that a healthy marriage is about fulfilling each spouse's needs. If the two people are not satisfied sexually, then they need to talk about what they can do to compromise. While I agree that it's not fair to be refused sex, I also think that it's unfair to just ask the "refuser" to give in. Sex may just be a manifestation of a totally unrelated problem in their marriage.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:41pm

How is she being selfish?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:42pm

"She is stating HER WAY or no way and she'll do it on her own if he doesn't agree and to hell with him."


So the compromise is to shaft the kids?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:43pm
I see it completely differently.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:47pm
I wouldn't "compromise" either if the "compromise" is that the kids don't get some needed or useful activity.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:49pm

I guess you're not seeing what I mean... that's why said it's ONE OF the primary points of emotional intimacy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:49pm

But there's a whole lot of ground between overdoing and shafting the kids. . .I'm not sure where grimalkins is on the spectrum. . .but making some adjustments won't kill her or the kids. . .and talking with her dh about WHY this is so very important to her won't kill her either.


Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:49pm
No, I do not.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:51pm
Your dh would be A-Ok if you and your children were so over scheduled that you never had a minute for him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:53pm
Yes and no.

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