Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:15pm

I got married to avoid giving

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:17pm
No, its not *your* problem, its the *couple's* problem. And I said in my posts that it was BOTH of the spouse's responsiblity to find out what is missing and why.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:18pm

And if the dh IS part of the solution? And won't do that part? What then? Suck it up and give in and have horrible sex you don't enjoy because your dh doens't care about your happiness?


(note: Not my case .. but I've seen it happen)

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:18pm
I guess I just don't understand the drama surrounding one's wedding, the need for everything to be so perfect and self-centered. The whole point, I think, is that these people who presumably mean a lot to you join you on your special day to celebrate with you, not just to watch the flawless production. How and where I got married has absolutely *nothing* to do with my marriage. I try to appreciate life in all it's forms, perfect or not. Back to the point, excluding someone based on a handicap or other ailment (say a heavy smoker with a bad cough, how disruptive would that be?) IS shallow, IMO.

On a side note...it does my heart good to hear a baby cry at a funeral; something about a life being lost and one beginning.

Carol

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:18pm
I knew someone would say that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:20pm

DH likes to watch a 2 or 3 hour black and white movie, drink bourbon and smoke a cigar.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:20pm
I agree. I think sex is also emotional for men.

That's why I couldn't just *cave in* and cheapen the intimacy involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:21pm
Ok then.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:22pm
If it's the wife that's withholding sex, if it's the wife that has emotional issues surrounding sex, if it's the wife that thinks it's all her dh's fault, it is HER problem to figure out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:22pm
It depends on how willing your DH is to help you find a solution.

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