Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:23pm

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:24pm
But it's *their* day. If they want to only include people who are between the ages of 20 and 40 wearing all fusha, they should because for *some,* it is a very important occasion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:25pm
Then you've got other problems.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:28pm

Do you have reading comprehension problems? Or are you ignoring hte places where I think the wife should take some responsiblity too?


<<If it's the wife that's withholding sex, >>


I have a problem with the word withholding. That implies punishment. Or that its a calculated move or bribery. Not having desire is not the same as withholding.


<<if it's the wife that has emotional issues surrounding sex, >>


The emotional issues aren't "surrounding sex". Its not the sex that is the issue. And if ANY spouse has emotional issues that connect to or affect their partner, its a problem for both of them and both have a stake, and responsibolity, in solving that problem.


<<it is HER problem to figure out.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:29pm
I totally agree!

There's too much trust at sake. When I want to be intimate with my dh, I want him to truly know I want to, and I'm not just caving in for his needs. And vice versa.

I do have friends who have confided into me that they've *faked it* for his sake. For the same reasons, (plus some, LOL) I think that's an awful idea - it just takes away trust.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:30pm
I brought it up to illustrate an extreme. Even if the problems are "minor" it doesn't mean that it's the wife's problem. Let's take less extreme examples. What if the husband is emotionally distant? What if the husband works 80 hours a week and comes home and all he wants is sex before falling asleep? What if she just doesn't enjoy it because he doesn't satisfy *her* needs? Can she fix all those things herself?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:30pm

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:32pm
Why would someone want to have sex with someone that doesn't at that same moment want to have sex with

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:33pm
I guess I just know alot more bitchy spiteful women than you do, because I know at least a few who DO withhold for punishment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:33pm
Lol. I'm not arguing that. Everyone has the right to do what they want to. That just doesn't make every decision kind, ethical, or admirable.

Carol

Pages