having 3+ kids close together in age....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
having 3+ kids close together in age....
245
Wed, 04-02-2008 - 9:10am

from the "SAHM wanting to use DC" thread.....


I know that hehmommy's post was an April Fool's joke, but....I'm at the point that all of my friends/acquaintances bar one have at least two children now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 10:41am

People are full of opinions about parenting, period. I've heard the negative attitudes about only children, and think it's silly. There are drawbacks and benefits to any family size, and it's a personal decision for everyone. I see a ton of advantages for an only child (for the child themselves, that is).

I do believe, though, that having kids close together opens you up to a ton of criticism not just on the spacing decision. I've talked to a few other people who have similar spacing, and we've all run into the same thing. A disapproving look as soon as someone spies the kids, followed by glaring examination of every move made by me or my kids. Assumptions that it was an accident, which often leads to the assumption that I am irresponsible or careless. I sometimes believe that the reason (some) moms of two under two are so stressed is because they feel that they have to live up to a much higher standard to counteract the judgment. I know with one particular family member, I have this issue. She had so much to say about closely spaced kids when I got pregnant. Now, she watches me with a microscope. We can go shopping together, her child will be climbing out of the cart, and she will look at my son sitting peacefully and say "don't you think you should strap him in". Or she will see me give DS1 a hot dog at a special event and give me a lecture on the ingredients in a hot dog. Meanwhile, her similarly aged daughter is eating cotton candy. And really, the hot dog is a special treat for DS1, but I have never been to her house when her kids aren't eating junk food.

Anyway, that's my little rant. I know parents judge other parents on so many levels. I don't dispute that AT ALL. But I do think in the minds of a lot of parents there is a special little judge and jury for parents of closely spaced kids.




Edited 4/3/2008 10:42 am ET by ka032006
Avatar for 4thekids2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 10:41am

I wanted 5 boys and 1 girl and that's what I got but I am SO glad she came 3rd so I didn't have to deal with people asking "are you going to keep trying till you get a girl".


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 10:45am
It's funny, I always said I wanted lots of boys, then a girl. Now I think I'd be okay with just all boys. Not because girls aren't fun, but just because it seems easy to have the same gender. That, and there is a little bit of a defiant streak in me that wants to respond to the "will you try for a girl" comments with "no, but I'll try for another boy."
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 10:53am

I wanted one girl child -- got her!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 11:16am

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 11:19am
oh yeah-- i hear those too but they're usually referencing the fact that the family is perfectly um...heterosexual LOL
"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 11:21am
I have one brother. When I was a kid, I always envied my friends who had two or three brothers. The first time I heard someone refer to the boy-girl family as the perfect family, I thought they were being sarcastic. Just goes to show how different everyone's ideal is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 11:36am
big huge eyeroll from me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 11:58am
Personally I think The Adams Family is the "perfect" family, LOL.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 12:12pm

I always thought I wanted three boys and then a girl.

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