Having "Adult Interaction"

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Having "Adult Interaction"
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Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:34am
So I mentioned this briefly in another thread but I've been meaning to ask about it. I'm a SAHM to 2 small toddlers. Personally, I don't *care* what other mothers choose to do. I've never inquired about "well, why do you WOH"... It's really none of my business nor do I care. I've been in several playgroups for my kiddos and sure enough, I get bombarded with comments from the WHOM about having "adult interaction". I mean seriously...what do they think I do all day?..Do WOHM think us SAHM just baby talk all day and are prisoners to our home and never speak with adults?.. It's funny, b/c a lot of times, they won't directly make that comment to me but will be passive aggressive...saying something like..."Oh I JUST had to go back to work to get the adult interaction"--waiting for me to respond like "oh yes, I agree, I miss the adult interaction"..... Almost like they are justifying why they work! If you are going to a job just to be around adults, that's pretty pathetic IMO. There are a million things I could get involved in that would be around adults, w/o having to go to work. I don't need work to fullfill my adult talk. I don't get it..Why is this always the first comment out of a WOHM? It's an indirect insult or putdown.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 10:52pm
You aren't the only one noticing the trend.

rhonda-1.gif picture by fouripleys

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:00pm

>>woh is an only outlet for intellectual interaction<<


YOUR addition of the term ***ONLY*** to this phrase turns it into a slam, and is a pretty unsophisticated approach to debate. Perhaps more stimulating conversation regarding intellectual pursuits could hone those skills?


i'm sorry you consider that a slam.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:01pm
I have no idea what pp was trying to convey. Can you translate "the trend"? TIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:04pm

Oh come on...that *trend* doesn't even make sense.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:07pm

you also misunderstand what i mean by,decent,intelligent and friendly conversation.


Yeah...I don't think she misunderstood, lol.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:11pm
I absolutely think it's comparable depending on the tone in which it is said. To merely say, "yeah, I like to SAH so I can raise my kids" should get the same uproar as "yeah, I like to WOH because of the adult interaction I can get"...which is none. But around here, to even *intimate* that one sah to "raise their kids" it is immediately taken (by some) as an insult. It's the utter lack of ability to see the other side that is the trend.

rhonda-1.gif picture by fouripleys

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:20pm

It's the utter lack of ability to see the other side that is the trend.


Pot meet kettle.

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:34pm

I guess I've NEVER encountered anyone who has said "I sah to raise my kids" not to mean it as an insult, a thinly veiled one at that.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:44pm

I will even admit to having said it (not recently), with the implication that I raise my own kids, and a wohm doesn't.


That made me think of something.. I have to admit, one of the most awesome parts of being on this board is that it has changed my views on every type of family. Seriously, there is such a mix of people here, and

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:50pm

I misunderstood neither item.

I appreciate why you took exception with the post you referenced - I do *not* personally believe that you took the point PNJ made as it was intended, but that's not my debate, and she certainly doesn't need my help to support her position.

***I*** took exception at you extrapolating that statement into some implication that we were suggesting that **only** working provided an opportunity for outside stimulation. Obviously that was not the statement, as I made explicit statements about other ways (political activism, community involvement, etc.) this could happen. And PNJ referenced the same post (item 9) to reinforce her point.

I didn't suggest that stimulation from conversations with people who woh is 'greater' - what I said (and PNJ and about, oh, 8 other people so far) is that interaction at work provides a venue for intellectual stimulation that is DIFFERENT than that provided by the interaction one undertakes directly through caring for children. And that it is legitimate for someone to say that among the reasons they like to WOH is to obtain that kind of interaction.

No one suggested that you can't hold intellectual conversations - what was suggested (or flat out stated) was that working outside the home provides far more frequent and consistent opportunities to hold those conversations than day to day childcare.

And, on a tangent, teachers that are at the pool with their kids this summer are no more SAHMs than I am when I am at the pool with my kids on the weekend.



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