Having "Adult Interaction"

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Having "Adult Interaction"
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Mon, 08-04-2008 - 11:34am
So I mentioned this briefly in another thread but I've been meaning to ask about it. I'm a SAHM to 2 small toddlers. Personally, I don't *care* what other mothers choose to do. I've never inquired about "well, why do you WOH"... It's really none of my business nor do I care. I've been in several playgroups for my kiddos and sure enough, I get bombarded with comments from the WHOM about having "adult interaction". I mean seriously...what do they think I do all day?..Do WOHM think us SAHM just baby talk all day and are prisoners to our home and never speak with adults?.. It's funny, b/c a lot of times, they won't directly make that comment to me but will be passive aggressive...saying something like..."Oh I JUST had to go back to work to get the adult interaction"--waiting for me to respond like "oh yes, I agree, I miss the adult interaction"..... Almost like they are justifying why they work! If you are going to a job just to be around adults, that's pretty pathetic IMO. There are a million things I could get involved in that would be around adults, w/o having to go to work. I don't need work to fullfill my adult talk. I don't get it..Why is this always the first comment out of a WOHM? It's an indirect insult or putdown.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 5:54pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 4:16pm
If you don't need alone time as an adult without kids, then that's fine. Others do. That's fine too. Needing adult time doesn't make you a good or bad mother.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:51am

True. I was combining the two ends of the spectrum in my post and confused the issue.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:41am
Yes, same here. At least dd's reasons are more benign than mine were. For one thing she does not approve of my interior decorating (or rather lack of same).
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:38am
That was me at 16, too.
baby in clothes basket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:21am
Oh no! ;) Seriously though, she has already made very clear that she longs to live by herself. I fully expect her to move out once she graduates HS. Besides, there is virtually no chance that she will end up studying here in Athens, so neither she nor we have ever considered the live at home in college option (although it is very common here, partly due to the complete lack of dorms).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:18am

"And that alone could be an indicator that she does love you--if she's still around after those 2 years."


No actually that can be an indicator of another point in your post.


"They just didn't make enough money to move out."


When my children moved out had everything to do with funding and not with how much they did or did not love us. If moving out was only based on love then most children would never move out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:08am

And that alone could be an indicator that she does love you--if she's still around after those 2 years. lol Mine didn't leave until they were well into their 20s. Except for Erica. She left the first time when she was 17 to go away to school. But she kept coming back home for the next 5-6 years until we finally said enough. :) On the serious side, though, they all were going to school and/or working while they were living at home. They just didn't make enough money to move out. But it was more of a room mate situation than parents and children by that point.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 10:28am
Fair point, lol. FTR, it is not that I think that I do not "rate" in her book. It is just that I do not expect "rating" to translate to her wanting to hang around with me when she no longer has to. But time will tell soon enough. She has two years left under my roof.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2008
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 10:21am
Ohhh..you were going for subtlety, and I blew it out of the water. Sigh.

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