Automatically happy? No. I don't think having kids makes you either happy or unhappy automatically. Having children would make my sister miserable. *Not* having children would make me miserable. I do think that parenthood increases the number of daily hassles, which can raise overall stress level, but that is going to vary widely from family to family and from personality to personality. Some may experience negligible levels of stress, and what little there is is eclipsed by good experiences. Others may feel completely overwhelmed and trapped. Still others are somewhere in between.
Whereas if you really DON'T want kids, and you don't have kids - what's not to be happy about? It reminds me of that CFBC character from The Simpsons when Maggie barfed in Marge's purse, and the lady said "Aw, poor me. All my purse is full of is disposable income." LOL
The article is not at all about childfree by choice. It does use the Sloans as an example of a childless then (now polictically correct, childfree) couple of the author of the article's childhood. All conclusions supported by the studies cited in the piece only distinguish between parents and the childfree.
She didn't say everyone who is childless is happy to not have kids. She said everyone who is childless by choice is happy to not have kids. What I'm talking about is actually peripheral to the article, so I understand what you're saying and I'm not disagreeing with you. I do understand and acknowledge that not all people who are childless are happy about being childless. I was agreeing with her that among people *who get what they want* regarding parenting, you're much more likely to find people that regret their decision to have children than you are to find people who regret their decision not to have children.
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I've never understood why people who have chosen not to have children are so pitied.
Automatically happy? No. I don't think having kids makes you either happy or unhappy automatically. Having children would make my sister miserable. *Not* having children would make me miserable. I do think that parenthood increases the number of daily hassles, which can raise overall stress level, but that is going to vary widely from family to family and from personality to personality. Some may experience negligible levels of stress, and what little there is is eclipsed by good experiences. Others may feel completely overwhelmed and trapped. Still others are somewhere in between.
Whereas if you really DON'T want kids, and you don't have kids - what's not to be happy about? It reminds me of that CFBC character from The Simpsons when Maggie barfed in Marge's purse, and the lady said "Aw, poor me. All my purse is full of is disposable income." LOL
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ITA
Edited 7/4/2008 12:30 pm ET by finally.me
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