Having Kids Make You Happy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Having Kids Make You Happy?
26
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 3:15pm

Here's an article that may get some discussion going


http://www.newsweek.com/id/143792/output/print

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 07-04-2008 - 12:32pm
That's how I read it, too. Although due to increasingly available infertility treatments and wider acceptance and/or knowledge (I think?) of adoption, there are probably fewer people who are childfree not by choice now than there used to be.
baby in clothes basket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Fri, 07-04-2008 - 12:34pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 3:52am

I never expected that having a child would make me happy. OTOH, I also did not expect it to make me as miserable as it did for a while.

On balance though, all the downsides mentioned have upsides as well, IMO. Not being able to have a coherent thought in your head because the short person is constantly talking, whining, crying or needing something, can really improve your ability to concentrate. Having your marriage implode, can lead to your rebuilding it on a more lasting basis. All in all, what I lost in peace of mind and joy, I gained in focus and determination.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 7:53am

"Societal ills aside, perhaps we also expect too much from the promise of parenting."


I think this may ring true for

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 8:04am
I agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 8:39am

Yeah, it's just that while the article started off as talking about childfree by choice, the studies that they cited didn't seem to make the distinction between those who are childfree by choice and those who are childfree not by choice. So the message got a little bit mixed.

But IMO, I think that if one conducted a study comparing couples who chose to have children (and succeeded in having them) to couples who chose not to have children (and succeeded in not having them), you'll find a higher percentage of unhappy campers in the first group.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 10:36am
But if those who are childfree, not by choice, were included in the study, wouldn't they come out on top for being the most unhappy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 12:56pm

Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 1:41pm
Because they want kids but can't have them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 1:53pm