Having Kids Make You Happy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Having Kids Make You Happy?
26
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 3:15pm

Here's an article that may get some discussion going


http://www.newsweek.com/id/143792/output/print

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-07-2008 - 1:28pm

"Happy" is such an ambiguous word. On the face of it it doesn't seem so. You can ask somebody if they are happy (as these researchers did) and they can truthfully say "yes" or "no".

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 07-06-2008 - 10:06pm
these kinds of articles make me stop and wonder what life would be like had dh and me never had kids or just one...........would i have still worked,would we not have had to move so many x,felt more settled,etc etc?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 9:09pm

I think if someone is childless by choice, then they are happy that way.


However, if someone is childless by default, they may be conflicted and unhappy about it for the rest of their life.


I know people in both situations. One of my women friends is childless because her husband took a job requiring him to travel most of the time; he loves his career, and won't sacrifice anything to become a father. If she did have kids, she'd be almost like a single mom, since her husband is on the road throughout most of the year. So she has reluctantly decided not to have any. She's not happy - she's conflicted and bitter.


I also have a woman friend who never married, doesn't want kids or husband - has two dogs and lives alone and loves it. She had a long term boyfriend when she was younger, who was a loser drug addict. She spent ten years of her life taking care of him. Once she got rid of him, she was done. She never wanted to take care of anyone else again - man or child. She just wants to enjoy her life and live it to the fullest.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 2:29pm
So are we certain that those in the childless group include CFBC as well as those who want children but can't have them?

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Sandi--Mommy to Ryan 7/24/07


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 2:15pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 2:01pm

In mind mind there would be more who are unhappy with their inability to procreate as opposed to the number of people who have children but didn't want them.


If we're talking about parents, ie. those who have children, whether they wanted them or not compared to those who want children but could not reproduce I'd have to say the latter would be the unhappier of the group.

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Sandi--Mommy to Ryan 7/24/07


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 1:53pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 1:41pm
Because they want kids but can't have them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 12:56pm

Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 10:36am
But if those who are childfree, not by choice, were included in the study, wouldn't they come out on top for being the most unhappy?

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