Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 11:24am

Not me, I don't have the time to follow my children around making sure they wash their hands before germs come into their contact.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 11:29am

That's ds1.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 11:29am
Separation anxiety is like breastfeeding - a passing phase that can be addressed regardless of work status. To "limit" separation anxiety, or to lovingly help a child through it, can be done lots of different ways. It doesn't have to involve a parent adjusting his/her work schedule.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 11:45am

I would ask the same thing. My experience was that my kids needed as much, if not more, of that loving presence as they got older.

Robin

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 11:54am
I guess with my ability to work from home some days I get a little more balance. Those days I start work at 7.30 a.m., generally, and work till 5.30 p.m. No commute...so I'm with the kids from 5.30 (or a little earlier) through to 8/8.30 p.m. when they go to sleep. So on a good day I get 3 hours. On a day I go to the office I too only see them an hour...if I'm lucky. I leave at 7.30 a.m. and get home at 6.30/7 p.m. When I travel all bets are obviously off!
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 11:56am
I can see that would cause issues with spending any time with kids! I work long hours but I have flexibility. If I'm behind on projects I'll work 3-5 hours on weekend days each day but only when the kids are sleeping. Project based work like homebuilding...where you have lots of other people involved on schedules...would definetly not allow that flexibility....unless you were planning only vs execution.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 12:11pm

Depends on the issue. If I know and have heard a large number of women express a given opinion, I'd say 'many women' might share said opinion... Wouldn't you?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 12:25pm

Right- but was she speaking of *you*? From what I recall, she was speaking of herself primarily, with a nod to the fact that many (not all, but a good number it seems) women *would* prefer to be home with their children. If you aren't one of them- that still doesn't change the point that many women *are*.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 12:33pm

So it's normal for your kids. What's the point? I don't want it to be normal for *my* kids. I don't want them to experience that. Not at their young ages. You weren't speaking only of your own children when you said "If you had started your children in full time othercare at 3 months of age, they wouldn't know the difference vis a vis separation anxiety. They would view being separated 40+ hours a week from both parents as totally normal." Even if you intended to mean a general 'you' rather than a personal 'you'- you're still referring to situations other than your own there.

***Separation anxiety ebbs and flows - it's not a constant state. Kids experience it for a few days or a week, then they get over it. If regular separation is routine for them, that is.***

That all depends on the child. I know more than one child in ft daycare who has experienced separation anxiety since basically day 1. (It's a common theme in the parenting group I'm active in actually.) So I still disagree- not all kids get over it or deal with it as well as you think they all do.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 12:39pm

"So it's normal for your kids. What's the point? I don't want it to be normal for *my* kids. I don't want them to experience that. Not at their young ages."


Your kids would have survived it, likely without any major trauma.

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