Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:24pm

Just some points of differentiation:


-- It only took us 2 years to conceive and have our first child


--By that time, I'd already invested 3 years in law school and 9 years of working into my career.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:40pm

True. But when someone claims something like this...

"My love remains. And it remains WITH my kids. And they know that. I really don't find it that difficult of a concept to understand"

I have to point out that there are ages & stages where a child is *not* guaranteed to "know" that. This is true whether WOH or SAH, but it's true nonetheless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:43pm
No, it has to do with the child's blossoming concept of object permanance. I simply feel that taking things slowly and allowing the child to mature *past* that stage at their own pace is my ideal approach.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:44pm

Oh I agree- but I see no reason to unnecessarily expose a very young infant to germs when their risks of serious complications are so much greater than those of older children. I think a little extra care when they are so little is only responsible.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:45pm

i really cant speak about all classrooms, i have had two kids in the elementary school setting and that is all i can really address. my oldest attended montessori school, she had the same teacher for grades 1-3 and yes, it was very warm, fuzzy and intimate, but then the whole school had less than probably 75 kids, i dont recall the exact number. my middle dd has only been in school for three years, k4,kindergarten and now 1st grade and so far, yes her teachers and classrooms have all been pretty much the same as her class this year.

i cant imagine an elementary school having a hands off policy, heck, you even see our principal giving kids hugs. personally i love that my kids have meaningful relationships with their teachers, i guess it is just different ways of looking at things.
Jennie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:45pm
Not if that wasnt what you felt was best for your family. My older DS still gets upset on Monday mornings after having the whole weekend with dad. I am glad I am there to minimize his stress over the situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:50pm

EVERY time? No. MUCH of the time? Yes. Mine are 2yrs and 1yr, so they don't spend much time outside of my immediate supervision.

Wytchy

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:53pm
But I've said I'd go nuts if I SAH full time without any other work...and I don't consider myself a militant WOHP. Far from it:) I SAH with my kids for over a year...and would be happiest I think working part time.
I never meant nor mean that to be an insult to anyone who SAH. In fact if anything it shows my own shortcomings as a seriously type A person!
MM
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:53pm

Exactly, which is one reason why I chose to SAH now and save WOH when they are both awake more and involved in other things.

Isnt it funny how the same point can mean two different things to two different people?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:54pm
I have to agree, a toddler who chronically misses his parents isn't too likely to be thinking about how much they love him from a distance at work. OTOH, a toddler who thinks about his parents all day while in dc probably isn't having the greatest dc experience.

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