Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:42pm

<<"work status doesnt determine if kids get sick or not, as much as you would like to paint it that way."


Maybe not work status, but attendance in a group daycare setting certainly does. Do you think the majority of kids in a group daycare setting have a SAHM or WOHM?>>


Am I reading this wrong?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:43pm
Do you know that the WOH works those hours just to support SAH? Sometimes a family where one parents' entire career is based on long hours depend on having a SAH to try to ease the stress of the long houred WOH. If the WOH had to work 80-90 reagardless what benefit would come from the SAHP working too?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:43pm

<>

For hundreds of thousands (might I even say millions?) of families it most certainly IS the only way to get there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:43pm

once again where do you get this stuff - i assure you i am not bent out of shape at all, just wondering how you make this stuff up. i am actually sitting here laughing about these posts because they have no basis in reality.

so i have woh 35 hours in 5 years, i have never disputed that fact. i just dont feel the limited number of hours, and the fact that the hours spent away from my son were not changed by me doing it, turned me into a full time wohm. because of these two relevant facts i do still consider myself a sahm since that is where i spend 99% of my time, other than my volunteer hours.

as to my husband it does have to do with me sah, sorry you cant seem to grasp that. my husband can now set up a meeting at 4 instead of at 3 because if it runs over her doesnt have to be concerned about being somewhere at 4:30 to pick up the kids. i was a wohm for many years and based on perfomance reviews i was an excellent employee but there were still times i had to be gone for family things. do you really think that parents who have to leave work at a set time everyday are somehow less worthwhile employees? i brought sah into it because me sah did impact his ability to work later than when he had prior commitments. if you dont understand that im sorry. if i were to go back to work tomorrow and he was responsible for picking up the children at a certain time he would have to adjust his work schedule to accomodate that, doesnt impact what type of employee he is.

obviously you have a reading problem. I LOVE SAH - can i make it any more clear for you. now remember this is about reality not what you are making up. what i have said constantly is that i dont believe that ones work status impacts their ability to parent. what benefits my family is that they have a great loving mom and wife, that has nothing to do with my work status. i sah becaue it works for my family at this time. and i love it.
Jennie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:45pm

(What I responded to) "you are right but i would think common sense would tell most people that it is not healthy for children to never see their dads just so he can be a paycheck for mom to sah"

(You) "Well, think again. Because that's what I was saying."

(Me) "You're saying that you do think it's healthy for children to never see their dads just so he can be a paycheck for mom to sah? Really? *incredulous*"

In other words- I was saying that I did NOT think that the poster in question was saying that it was healthy for children never to see their dads just so he can be a paycheck for mom to sah. Of course- since the poster was talking to someone other than you- I guess I stand corrected. But why did you butt in if you knew it wasn't about you? And even if it was going back to you- I'm still saying that I *don't* think that anyone is saying the aforementioned, so again- wtf are you talking about? I was trying to *agree* with you or support the idea you were presenting and then you say that wasn't what you were trying to get across. OK- and *I'M* the one who needs to follow the thread....

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:45pm

regular job with 40 hours. pt evening job of about 20 hours. Weekend job of about 20 hours. Add in commutes, lunch breaks, etc and you can reach 90 hours.

<>

In my first post on this subthread, I said I was speaking of people I knew.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:45pm

What does her being a big volunteer at her children's school have to do with her liking or not liking sah?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:46pm
i would assume that most have a wohm, but i dont think that it is only kids who are in daycare setting that get sick.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:48pm

You forgot to start your full circle story with Once upon a time....and end with They lived happily ever after.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:51pm
Well those people you know either need to figure something else out if one parent is unhappy with their situation, or get a divorce. It is stupid for a WOHP to work those hours if that parent doesn't want to. Sounds like to me those marriages are already in big trouble. Working 80 hrs per week isn't doing the damage. One being ridiculous, and the other spineless is.

 

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