Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:54pm

Umm, I "lumped them together" because separation anxiety is *based* in part on the child's development of object permanance.

Here's a blurb from keepkidshealthy.com on the topic. You might find it interesting...

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/development/separation_anxiety.html

"The onset and resolution of separation anxiety requires the achievement of three developmental milestones: attachment to a care giver, realization of object permanence, and development of trust. Here's how this works: a 6 month old infant is not “spoiled” just because she cries when Mom leaves the room or is handed to someone else. Instead, her crying represents her developing sense of attachment to her Mom and Dad. (I used the terms “Mom” and “Dad,” but I really mean whoever is the primary care giver.) If she did not have a sense of attachment, she would not be concerned when they left the room."

Do you still think separation anxiety has nothing to do with love and object permanance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:55pm
It would have been for us too, had we not planned as well as we did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:57pm

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Wow, you are ever so much faster than I was.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:57pm

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My DH works 96 hours one week (4days x 24hour shifts) and he works 48 hours the next week (2days x 24 hours). He is scheduled to work 144 hours in a two week pay period. He would work those hours whether I WOH or SAH, because that's the fire departments schedule. So yes, there are families that do deal with hours every other week exceeding 90+ hours.

Julia

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:59pm

I think in most of those cases, the WOHP would probably work similar hours regardless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 3:04pm
No, it's not only kids in daycare getting sick. But kids in daycare get sick more often. Do you dispute that fact?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 3:05pm

Can you read?

I did NOT say that seperation anxiety had nothing to do with object permanence. I said they weren't the same. In fact, I even said they were related. Here .. I'll quote myself "I dont' really see them as the same (although somewhat related)."

What I did say was that object permanence has nothing to do with love. And you haven't shown me anything to counter that yet.

I also said that I don't think it really is the love they're missing. That it *could* be, but that it wasn't necessarily it.

So, to answer your question ... "Do you still think separation anxiety has nothing to do with love and object permanance?" No, becuase I NEVER thought that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 3:07pm

Well, considering we are on a debate board, contentious I will give you since, well we are on a debate board.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 3:10pm

Oh not back to the old *if people just planned well they could ALL have SAHPs* nonsense.

Heard it. 1,000,000 times. Still not true. Still patronizing to those who have dual WOHPs. Still reeks of "Neener neener neener. We plan better than youuuuuu."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 3:11pm
I can definitely agree that some WOH do fall into the category of "maintaining" their SAH counterpart. I just think there are just as many who would work those hours regardless.

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