Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:37pm

Fair enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:37pm

<>


I don't know about other dual wohps, but we dont' often make those decisions in the middle of the night while holding a sick child.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:38pm

Why can't the sitter take the kids to the park? Or play outside? or take them for a walk?

My first baysitting job was to walk a baby in his stroller around the block and take her to the park. I was gone an hour and half. It was to help out a new mother. It gave her some time alone. I have no idea what she did- napped, made cookies, talked on the phone, read a book, took a shower??????

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:39pm

I told you it was a whole other debate.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:39pm
Gee, that's a real tragedy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:40pm

I would share my sleep genes if I could.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:41pm

I see you've never suffered from insomnia. It is difficult, if next to impossible, for me to go back to sleep after being awakened, no matter how little sleep I've had. Dh, OTOH, can fall asleep on a dime. We decided early on that he would handle all "non-nursing" related nighttime wakenings. 14 years and three children later, the girls know to go to Dad if they need something during the night and that Mom is not to be disturbed (even though he's a WOHD and I am a SAHM).

So, yes, she's serious, and yes, a 5 minute bathroom trip CAN cause sleep deprivation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:41pm

"They are still 3 opportunities that could happen, just because it isn't your individual experience, doesn't mean the opportunity is not there."


Those opportunities are not there for every SAHP and some WOHPs clearly have an opportunity to catch up on sleep as well (they could also stay late at the office and catch some sleep at the end of the day).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:42pm

***Not just the college years, not just the 3 years in law school, but also NINE years of work experience. For me, it did make a big difference in my decision.***

Yeah- I can see where that would be the case. And truth to be told, I'm pretty sure I'd have felt the same way. Although personally I'd have still been wishing I'd have thought about having kids *before* then (and had opportunity to do so...)

***Re: my SAHM mom - part of her unhappiness in her later years was that she couldn't get a self supporting job. I know you can, but she couldn't because she didn't keep WOH or go to grad school; hence, one of the reasons becoming highly educated and continuing to be in the job market was important to me.***

Yes- that would be an important issue. And given that she was at that time in history still probably dealing with the issues surrounding women and work *in general* I'm sure finding self-supporting employment was also *far* harder for her than for either you or me, regardless of either of our schooling or other qualifications...

***Because kids grow up and become people in your family? I wanted kids to carry on my family traditions, among other things. I didn't have children so I could enjoy the young child stage, if that makes any sense. If you're a baby person, why have children who are only going to grow up and move out of the house?***

OK- that makes sense. If I were in that position though I'd probably have tried to adopt older kids ;) That way, not being a kid person, I'd have been able to miss the baby stage if I wasn't into it. My girlfriend said that's what she'd do if she were ever to have another one. (NOT a baby person, that girl LOL ;)

***You know, I guess I just figured I'd love my own. I didn't stop to question that deeply (probably should have, now that I am thinking about it).***

No- it makes sense I guess... It's a biological drive to have children of ones own- I'd say that probably makes it easier to gloss over that question ;)

***Oh, that's ok, but yes, in both cases, I was taking clomid and they were each planned.***

Thanks for the answer (and for not taking offense. :)

And totally off the subject, but did you also have to take the Provera along with the Clomid? ;) Just wondering because I remember those days and OMG did that stuff turn me into a stark raving biotch LOL! I'm SO glad I don't have to do *that* again LOL! ;)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:43pm
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but may I ask you a little more about why you think it's not - what? good? appropriate?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Pages