Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:43pm

Okay, okay....I will give you equal opportunities in the state of California.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:44pm

Then I wouldn't be at work.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:44pm
Well we definately have a different way of handling things. I think most WOHP know what their day will look like the day before. If you have a sick kid you have a sick kid. The parent that is going to SAH the next day should be the one to get up at night. My kids may call for daddy, but there is really no need to wake him when I am more than capable of caring for them when they are sick. They get over that daddy isn't coming in their room in about 10 seconds.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:45pm
n/t!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:47pm

I think both, but honestly I'm too tired to look it up right now :-).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:47pm

Uh, wrong. She asked:

"Do you think the majority of kids in a group daycare setting have a SAHM or WOHM?"

And I responded that it depended on the school. I was pointing out that in many "group daycare" situations, like the one my child was in, there were as many if not more children of SAHPS.

Gosh, you are the condescending one, aren't you?

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:48pm

Yes- they are. However the allegation was made, if you backtrack a bit, that if a child is in othercare from the beginning that separation anxiety will not affect them as they'd view the experience as routine/normal. I was merely stating that that isn't the case given that separation anxiety is a normal developmental milestone which has little if anything to do with childcare arrangements. (Although parents can choose to either force the issue in regard to separation anxiety and make a child deal with it on a regular basis or they can be with the child and smooth over their anxiety for the most part *by* being there most of the time.) The child will still have separation anxiety, but one can make the experience either more or less frequent depending on what a child's care arrangements may be.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:49pm
Well you said that you tend to let your children tell you who they want in the middle of the night. What if they want you during the day? I doubt they ask for their nanny over you or your DH. I also do not think it is a nanny's responsibility to care for a sick child. She is at risk for getting sick too. I just think that parents should be the caregiver when a child is sick. Sick children aren't allowed at DC for more than getting other children sick. It is because they could also spread it to the staff. Can I ask you if you had a person that cared for your children in their home would you take them?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:50pm

I know that I, as an adult who has had very few sleeping issues in her 34 years on this earth, wake up frequently during the night. Noises, needing to pee, being thirsty, whatever. Why wouldn't a child do the same? Why would that be acceptable for an adult but not for a child?

The thing I hear touted is that children need to learn to soothe themselves back to sleep. And sure, I can get behind that to an extent. But even I get back to sleep quicker and deeper if I can reach under the covers and put my leg next to dh's. Or spoon against him. Or put my head on his chest. Or hold his hand. And I that makes *me*, an adult, feel better and get sooner, better sleep, why wouldn't/couldn't/shouldn't that be true for a child?

I tolerate it for me; I should tolerate it for my child.

Note: This isn't necessarily in response to your post, but I thought of it while reading your post, so I'm posting it here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 4:52pm

I don't see much of that as a need that has to be done TODAY. You have control over much of that yourself.

Unfortunately, if I don't do my work responsibilities, there are, literally, 10-30 people that suffer. And could potentially mean millions of dollars lost.

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