Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:37pm

"The thing I hear touted is that children need to learn to soothe themselves back to sleep. And sure, I can get behind that to an extent. But even I get back to sleep quicker and deeper if I can reach under the covers and put my leg next to dh's. Or spoon against him. Or put my head on his chest. Or hold his hand. And I that makes *me*, an adult, feel better and get sooner, better sleep, why wouldn't/couldn't/shouldn't that be true for a child?"

I agree with you completely. Sometimes I feel very guilty that I have a warm body next to me to help me fall back asleep (being pg, due next month, I am up a LOT to pee, etc) while the little ones just have to deal. They do very well alone, but it still makes me feel sad sometimes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:38pm

****And if you let them cry? for 15, 30, 45 minutes? for nights on end? and they still don't sleep? what then? Guess that's my fault too.****

Never in my life have I heard of a small child do that. However yes you do let them cry for hours if need be. No it wouldn't be your fault. It would be a medical condition. If your child cried all night long for days I would definately tell you to seek medical attention. From what I have read....insomnia has a reason. It is either stress related or an illness.




Edited 2/8/2006 8:46 pm ET by snoopyme

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:38pm
I concede your point. Although I do most often work through it, I suppose none of my *responsibilities* are mandatory or will cause any fallout if left undone for a day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:41pm

***In addition to my children benefitting so much from the time and mental energy I have for them due to my ptwoh (10 hours per week vs. 40 hours)***

But is that a function of your WOH specifically or merely taking 10hrs a week for yourself? Is there a difference for you between whether you were WOH 10hrs versus doing something *else* for that same 10hrs? Just curious ;) Frankly I think a 10hr/wk WOH gig would be really nice. :)

***I also think my husband gets more out of their childhoods, and the children get more out of him, because I can take care of so many house-hold related tasks (tasks beyond simple cleaning such as what a housekeeper could do) with complete ease.***

Oh I absolutely understand that one.

***If he and I had a sahwife (or "househusband" that was as gifted as we women are), then I would be interested in woh fulltime.***

LOL! Personally I wouldn't. I'd rather have that time with my kids. :) Now- if we were talking school age? Sure- I could go for that LOL! Not sure which I'd prefer- a "housewife" or a "househusband" though....... *pondering* LOL! ;)

***Of course, many people report such picture perfect dual fulltime career families on this board, yet one after the other on this board get divorced over the years. Curious.***

I haven't noticed on the board, but it is a trend I've noticed IRL. It *is* rather curious.

***I just get the impression that many people create a positively distorted picture (on either side) for the sake of debate, which is why I rarely come around here anymore.***

I think that's probably human nature to an extent. We don't like to air our dirty laundry in public. Might make for an interesting thread all on its own though... ("What *don't* you like about your situation" or some such ;)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:42pm
I agree with you here. However our babies slept with us until they were not nursing anymore. My son LOVED to sleep with us. He loved to snuggle a lot. Our DD didn't want anything to do with it. We had to buy her a bassinet and put it next to the bed. Even though they slept with us, they went to bed before we did and went to sleep on their own.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:42pm
I think you don't know what you are talking about. How could you, since both of your children slept through the night at a very young age? Are you deluded into thinking it was something you did? I had one kid that slept through the night fine and one who never would.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:43pm

Did you miss the clarification that daycare= group care?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:45pm

How so? Are you one of those people? Is it an inaccurate observation? (I honestly don't know).

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:45pm
I do know what I am talking about. Think I didn't have to deal with small children attempting to wake up during the night? There comes a time when a child has to learn how to sleep on their own. I have yet to meet a medical professional that would say otherwise. You said your child didn't sleep through the night until 2.5. What did he do at night to wake you up?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 8:46pm

I can get on board with that. I could nap at this stage of my kids life if I wanted/needed to. There were also times I couldnt.

FTR, I dont really "get" the nap at work thing that has bee tossed around. I know I for one couldnt do that. I need my bed, my jammies, a dark room, etc.. to sleep. No, naps while WOH are no more a given than naps while SAH.

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