Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 8:41am

I'll be 45 when my youngest reaches adulthood. But yes- it all depends on what ones career *is* and what ones goals are. For me, it's not important to break any glass ceilings or achieve X in my career. I just want to enjoy my time, help people and live a fulfilled and happy life with my family being first and foremost in my focus. (Not that yours aren't for you- just a different perspective...)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 8:42am
Why? I didn't say it was a given or always the case.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 8:43am
How abut people who manage to work outside the home and still not do anything meaningful with their lives?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 8:54am

... So if that's the case, would you say that celebrities could be helping to raise your child as well? What about the *bad* examples? Are they helping to raise your child due to the example set of what *not* to be like- if your child one day says 'Gee mom, I don't think I want to be a serial killer' or something like that- would you say that serial killer helped raise your child? LOL

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 8:57am
I have to admit, I've always been a little confused about the whole "skin to skin" thing and just how much skin it's supposed to involve. Ds was born at the beginning of one of the hottest summers on record. I kept him in a diaper throughout most of the summer and I myself wore the bare minimum that would still constitute decent (and actually gave up on decency when we were home :-)). Clearly he had loads of skin-to-skin contact. Dd, otoh, was born in the darkest part of winter. I exposed the barest minimum of skin (on my part) I possibly could. Dd always had a least two solid layers on. Skin-to-skin in this case meant whatever part of the nipple she had in her mouth and perhaps a few sq cm more of skin from the breast on her cheek. Is this still considered plenty of skin-to-skin contact? Is it significantly more than a bottle-fed child held within bare arms while feeding would get?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 8:58am
No, I don't mean grocery store checkers. Nor do I mean bank tellers, the lady who delivers the mail, or the lifeguards at the beach. But my kids have had the same doctor for 16 years. The librarians in the children's room never fail to patiently assist them when they wander in with vague notions about a research project on Bolivia or The New Deal. Their piano teachers are the ones who keep them going with that, not me or dh. Maybe it takes a few years to understand what this kind of help is all about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 8:59am

***The hormonal difference comes in the let down. I know when I was bf'ng (I bottlefed a lot longer than I bf'ed) I would get a rush of feelings that I did not get bottlefeeding.***

See- I never experienced that. I had let down (my supply was extremely scarce, but since there was *something* there was obviously a let down) but still- never experienced any different feelings or anything like that. I'm wondering if the hormones just weren't there for me- thus the issues with my supply. (Despite near constant feeding, good latch, etc.)

***I am in no way stating the bonding was better at all b/c of the bf'ng. I mostly ff'ed my first. My bond with both my kids is exactly the same.***

That's all I'm getting at ;) That the bonding aspect is no different when it comes to quality. Of course the *function* of breastfeeding/bottlefeeding are different- but there's no reason to debate -that- LOL!

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 9:01am
That's probably me...of course it would help if someone would define "meaningful".
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 9:02am
I think the point is, as your kids get older, that they will either have no significant contact or relationships with adults outside the family, or that they will, and those significant people in their lives will help shape who they become. And as they get to be preteens and teens, those significant adults outside the family become CRUCIAL parenting tools.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 9:04am
I don't know the numbers, and I certainly don't know how it varies cross-culturally. I remember seeing studies on things like skin-to-skin contact and weight gain, developmental stuff, etc when I was actively thinking about such things -- remember my younger one is nine -- but I honestly have no clue how you'd work in variables like climate.

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