Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 3:54pm

While that's partially true, in that I would never consider raising a child without such influences in his life, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about his outcome. His outcome was not possible if I were the only influence as he grew up.

You haven't been saying that.

Karen


" says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank.""


Jeff @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Project Runway

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 3:57pm

Can I ask a question here?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 4:07pm
I thought we went over this? I think she was pretty clear saying that she stays at home so she can raise her children the way she sees fit. No that doesn't mean there WOHP doesn't raise the children. The way they see fit is to have one parent at home and one parent working.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 4:22pm
What if it's as important that the infant take multiple bottles during the work week at the age of 12 weeks as it is to establish long term breastfeeding success?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 4:49pm

Perhaps I am not clearly stating my question?

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 5:02pm
So did you pump when you went back to work?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 5:02pm

I think all Lois is saying is that 6 weeks is recommended to be sure that supply is not compromised. If it is more important for someone that the baby takes a bottle before x weeks and that person is prepared to accept that problems may ensue (breast refusal, drop in supply etc.), then of course one can start bottles earlier.

The thing is, a lot of women who use bottles earlier than 6 weeks are quite suprised to find serious trouble (often the baby prefers the bottle and refuses the breast, and supply is compromised). It won't happen to everyone, but it does tend to happen. It's a matter of weighing the pros and cons. If one is determined to bf long-term, the chances of success will be very much increased by waiting until at least 6 weeks before introducing a bottle. If long-term success at bf is less critical than making sure the baby comfortably takes a bottle, then it may well be worth the risk to start bottles ealier. Does that make sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 5:04pm

"Does that mean the sahp is the one raising the children while the wohp is not?"

Absolutely not. My DH is a very devoted father, who plays a big part in raising our kids. However, I personally do not believe it would be possibe to be the mother I want to be and still WOH. In addition, while DH loves his career and knows that it is a vital part of raising our children, he would trade it in to be a SAHD if my income would have supported it. We both thought to would be nice to trade off as primary caregiver to the kids, alas, our finances do not cooperate with our *dreams*.

I guess in my case SAH is more about *me* and being the mom I want to be. Maybe I'm simply lacking the ability to coordinate WOH and parenting to my standards. I dunno.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 6:45pm
The advice you are giving goes against general pediatric recommendations for longterm breastfeeding success, that is all I am saying. If you don't particularly care about longterm breastfeeding, or you are willing to just take your chances, you can introduce a bottle as soon as you want to. Obviously.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 7:27pm
I am not sure what you are getting. It is pretty clear that she said that she SAH to raise her children. In our case we feel that me being home and my DH working is the we want to raise our children. My DH is still raising our children even though he WOHFT. That is in no way ever been disputed. We wouldn't be raising our children the way we want to if I went back to work.


Edited 1/28/2006 7:30 pm ET by snoopyme

 

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