Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:04am

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As I said in the previous post:

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:08am

You have made a couple of those yourself regarding sahp's and spending more time with their

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:28am
Agreed. The only way I couldn't find replacements would be if everyone in the world died and then raising John with the help of "my village" would be the least of our problems.

Karen


" says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank.""


Jeff @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Project Runway



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 6:54am

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Why is it *better*?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 7:11am

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I agree. My niece and nephew (both engineers, my niece working toward her PhD in England) "grew up" in the Army and lived all over the world. I would think being uprooted every few years to live in another country would have left them with all sorts of difficulties. But, they've turned out to be extremely well-adjusted, intelligent, happy, well-mannered, outgoing 20-somethings. It's because their parents are so grounded and just wonderful parents. A "network" can be replaced with little detriment to the child who has great parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 7:19am

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But, to do an "equal" amount of work both parents would WOH. Right? So, to make it fair and equal both parents have to work? That means they are using a dcp? Why is that more beneficial than having a parent at home? Why is a dcp better than a parent at home?

No, my dh and I do not spend exact amount of time with the kids. As you stated, I do not keep a scorecard. However, he spends ALOT of time with the kids. SO, are you stating it is better that I worked just to make it even between us?

I could be reading your post wrong that is why I am asking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 7:21am
A military lifestyle does not mean not having a network. It just means that many of those connections are short term. But that does not minimize them. My DDs have fond memeories of many people that they have met over their years as military brats as your niece and nephew probably do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 8:03am

Your neice and nephew probably didn't grow up without a network. That network just changed every few years. You yourself didn't say the network disappeared, you said it was "replaced", which, by definition means it still existed.

Military families actually usually have extensive networks. The military provides much of it. They go to great lengths to make sure that those types of contacts, connections and networks are available to families, especially those posted abroad. Gee, why do you think that is? Maybe because even the military realizes the importance of a "village".

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 8:09am
Thank you. I used to get so tired of people (mainly my family) telling me that they felt sorry for my kids growing up in the military world.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 8:14am
I was a military brat until I was 10 y.o. We moved around a lot. There were definite downsides to this lifestyle. I do not have any friends from kindergarten. However, being in the military with no family around made us very close. Also, I loved the different places we lived. Once we were out of the military and settled in Philly it took me awhile to feel settled. I thought it was kind of boring actually to stay in one place. Overall, I thought it was a great experience.

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