Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:24pm
i certainly own up to the concept of raising my children and i certainly take it personally which is why i go to the measures i do to ensure that my kids have other people in their lives who are helping in that endeavor. i personally believe it is my responsibility as their parent to do so. perhaps it has something to do with how one is raised, i know i was raised in an atmosphere where there were multiple people who helped to raise me and my siblings and that is something i want to pass on to my kids.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:33pm
i dont think that is the question. but more if you have two parents in the same household who have such differeing views on what it takes to be a good parent. mom has to sah to be a good parent but dad can woh and still be a good parent - it would seem that if dad beleives he can be a good parent and woh that he would also think that mom could woh and be a good parent. and if mom thinks she has to sah to be a good parent why does she think dad can still be a good parent when he is woh. it does seem a bit interesting that two married people, living in the same home and raising the same kids would differ so widely in what they thought created a good parent in the other.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:40pm

"Why wouldn't it be better to have two involved parents?"

Of course having two invovled parents is better. Do you think that only a family that has dual WOHP have two active parents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:41pm

I certainly own up to raising my children and as one of those of who who believe that others are helping,

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:41pm
I just explained to you why I keep dragging it on (you, of course, aren't dragging it on at all, even though you ignored my suggestion numerous posts ago that we move on). Apparently you "read" what I said, but you didn't "read" it for content or thoroughly enough to understand it. I get it now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:43pm

no, you haven't clarified pka's q any better for me. *shrug*.....being a good parent within a household is not a competition. the fact that one may have the privledge and fortune to have one sahp and one wohp means just that. period.

a compatible relationship isn't about one side parenting better or worse than the other side. it's about laying all cards on the table and finding out what situation best fits your family. for some, that means two dual parents with usually a middleman to help raise that child; to others, that means having one (usually the mother) sah and the other woh without a third wheel.

 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:44pm
Well, gee, when I say I read something, I mean I read it. When I say I didn't read it, I mean I didn't read it. No wonder this is going nowhere. I'm done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:46pm

That's exactly the question.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:47pm

<>

How did you come to that conclusion? So, if a mother sah and a father works they have widely different parenting views. Hmmm, that does not make sense to me at all. My dh and I have very similar parenting ideas. Just b/c I sah and he works we have different parenting ideas on what makes a good parent. It was important for us to have one of us at home. I really wanted to be at home and he made 3x the amount I made. I do not stay at home b/c I think that makes the best parent. He does not woh b/c it makes him the best parent. It just works and b/c it does we feel that we are better parents for our children.

Besides, there is soooo much more that goes into what I think is a good parent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:50pm
yep...my dh earning power will always outweigh mine so why even try to compete with it? i'm a better mother because i can sah.

 

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