Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:32pm
<> Only if you're the mom. If you're the dad, positive vibes is all it takes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:33pm

***So now it's not about time or income? What is it about?***

What are you talking about? The post in question refers to the difference between a parent, whether WOH or SAH and that of Joe-postal-carrier or Jane pediatrician or whomever.

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***Where is the disclaimer that you have mentioned about other posters statements? Unless of course for some reason you can now speak for all sahps and all families in general?***

The phrase "tend to" clearly denotes a non-absolute statement.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:35pm

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How can you not know what you are debating and I wasn't talking about you specifically or anyone specifically as I have mentioned.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:36pm

I believe they do and I think how's and why's about decisions are always quite interesting, don't you?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:37pm

Because you posted this...

"<>"

Which to me says while the other poster thinks that a SAHP is better then equal time (ie: dual WOHP) you belive that equal time is better. It implies that in a SAHP/WOHP family where the hands on time is no longer equal, that the active parenting is no longer equal either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:39pm

I just find it interesting (in a curious sort of way) that the approach is

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:39pm
you know i am surprised at how much benefit my kids in school get by me being at home. i thought once mine were all in school i would go back to work but as time goes by and i see the amount of time i am spending at their schools and taking them to different places i doubt that i will. or if i do it will be very limited work. of course i will have three kids in three different schools.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:40pm
But if the WOHP's feeling of beng "adequate" is based on having a SAHP as well, then they are in agreement. Some WOHP parents are only satisfied with their situation because they feel confident their spouse's presence while they are absent helps to achieve a balance they couldnt get with dual WOHP's.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:44pm

Yeah. I am a lot more involved in my older dd school than I thought I would (which is why I am only working 3 nights week when I return). But, I also caved in last year and bought a minivan which I swore I would never do..lol!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:44pm

***That's great, but I wasn't talking about your specific situation. What's the difference in theory? What allows the wohp to parent in the way they want to while they work? What allows the sahp to parent the way they want to because they are home? Same family, both are parenting in the way they want to, one works, one doesn't. One can assume that both parents want the same kind of parenting, so why two different ways of going about it?***

It seems as if you're looking at parenting as two completely seperate individuals rather than as a parental unit. A family does what a family needs to do to do what they think is best for the family... Meaning- if both parents want their children to have a SAHP, then either one of them has to SAH while the other WOH, or they have to split shifts so that a parent is home with the child (which has its own drawbacks in that the parents tend to seldom see each other when that is the case- oh- and notice the 'tend to' there- not meant as an absolute- remember?) In a WOHP/SAHP situation, the WOHP is providing for their family including providing a SAHP. That they themselves aren't or don't care to *be* the SAHP is wholly irrelevant if the point is that they want their child to *have* a SAHP and not merely that they themselves want to *be* a SAHP.

Wytchy

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