Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:16pm
interesting observation, in all the years that i have been reading these boards i have never seen anything that hinted at scorekeeping in marriages. must just be the way different people interpret different things.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:18pm

Why is it so difficult to understand? Two parents decide they want X for their children. In order to obtain X, parent A has to do 1,2,3 and parent B has to do 4,5,6. If parents A and B *each* did 1,2,3 they would not be able to obtain X. They each have to do different things in order to get what they both want for their children. Is it really that difficult a thing to grasp? (Not being condescending in the least- just really not understanding why you're not understanding this.....)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:26pm
i have yet to see where anyone has said that parents need contribiute in the same way. but i can see where an equal division of responsibilities would work very well for some families just as an unequal division would work well for others. i dont think it unhealthy at all for marriages to believe that certain responsibilities be shared equally - ie. financial responsibilities.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:28pm
Nah, it's gotta be white which means you haven't completely gone over the edge yet..lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:29pm

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For the 3rd time, you are going to have to provide me with posts because I don't know what you are specifically talking about.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:43pm

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-pssahwoh&msg=16531.500

maybe this link will help jog your memory....this was my first reaction to a post of yours in this discussion. i do apologize for misreading my own words but not for getting the answer i so desired from you. that's all i wanted to know.

and my point about bringing in past debates pka? sure i do. just like you..but i'm not the one who calls other posters to the carpet for doing it when in all fairness, i do it too.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:47pm
i really dont think any of this debate has been about one being better than the other so much as how can one person in a partnership believe one must do something one way to excel but the other person in the partnership can excel without doing that. i will repeat, if my husband felt that the only way he could be a good parent was to provide financially for his children, i would have an issue with that. just as i would hope he would have an issue if i believed that i had to sah to be a good parent. i would hope, and believe that we are both wise enough to realize that work status has nothing to do with whether we are good parents
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:51pm

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Amen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:58pm

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Sometimes it's a fine line, one would normally think if you were posting to me and quoting, you were actually talking to me as well about something specific...but this was pretty out there, so I had to ask.


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Yes, there is a great reality in a sahm needing to go back to work at some point.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:58pm

What age are you talking about now?


PumpkinAngel

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