Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 7:55am

So just accept that the statement was an inaccurate absolute and move on already. That's certainly fine by me!

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:00am

Weren't you aware all sahms are house-bound and completely unaware of kinderclasses, playgroups, children's museums, soccer leagues, ballet classes? Now, if you're getting out of the house, getting involved in society and fostering your and your children's friendships, that's a big no-no. ;)

I agree with you about the church. I go to church and couldn't fathom monopolizing the poor priest's time after mass beyond a few minutes. Other parishoners want their time with the priests too. We've had priests come to a restaurant or our house after special occasions - but I know for a fact that our priest has a life of his own! My experience is the same as yours growing up.

I have to wonder whether these unsuspecting ministers, soccer coaches, pediatricians, librarians even, know that they are members of a network raising other people's children! Yikes. Do the women on this board actually inform these people they are raising kids not their own? Don't these people have lives and families of their own?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:05am

It's actually a very common situation for parents (in the same house- raising the same children) to have different views on various things. Why is that so fascinating? *curious*

How is the scenario of a WOHP and a SAHP an issue of *different* ideas, though? IMO and in my situation we have the *same* views in regard to child rearing (on *most* issues)- but definately in regard to the SAHP issue. We both want our children to be raised by a SAHP. He is better suited to being the WOHP whereas I am more suited to being the SAHP. It takes both of us doing what we do to make it possible and comfortable (for all of us) to have this for our children. Same view- we just have different roles to play.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:10am
Who said it would support me? Besides, the truth is the way Child Support is set up, if I *did* work, my Ex-DH would have to pay at least 3/4 of dc which would make his Child Support way higher than if I SAH. Which option do you think he would chose?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:14am

I agree with that. Work status is irrelevant as far as being a good parent is concerned.

Work status can be *very* relevant as far as being the parent one wants to be if that means that one wants to be a homeschooling parent, exclusively breastfeeding parent, etc.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:23am

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I don't get why anyone would even be interested in this. And if they were, how would it prove anything about their parenting skills, or about the nature of parenting? And how would it stand to be anything but a risk for a child to lead such an isolated life? What could possibly be the point of debating minimum standards for social contacts or learning opportunities, when most parents agree that those are what kids thrive on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:37am
Why is time so important in raising young kids? Mine didn't seem to have much of a sense of time at all until they were in first or second grade.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:42am

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No, this subthread is about the connection or lack thereof between parental involvement and work status. The subthread about the village has to do with the value of nonparental inputs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:08am
i have not and will not limit a discussion of raising my kids to while they are under age three, because i do not consider my kids to be raised when they hit age 3 - at that point, the raising has just begun, IMO
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:13am

I kept meaning to write you to tell you how adorable the pictures are! I'm so glad to hear that Ricki is getting on great with the gang, that must be a huge relief for you. How is he doing with humans, though? Have you been able to handle him a lot or is it still pretty touch-and-go?

My siamese is due for another round of breeding sometime in the next few weeks and I am really looking forward to that as he is going to be mated with the same girl he met last year. She is such a sweet-heart that we had a very hard time letting her go last time, so we are going to take every opportunity we can to snuggle with her :-).

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