Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:25am
Hmmm. From my POV saying *I* cant raise my kids in my preferred fashion without "X", is the same as someone else saying *they* cant raise their kids in thier preferred fashion without "Y". Just because the "X" and "Y" are different things doesnt make the comparison invalid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:28am

Talk about MEOW>.......and the distinction has been answered, YES, we rely on a network to raise our kids, and she refuses to accept that.

Sure these people have lives and families of their own, and yet they make time to invest in others outside of their own family, as does our family - dont you do that? LOL and yes, these people absolutely know they are helping to raise other children than their own, some of the time that is why they have chosen the profession they are in and other times they are doing so because of their deep attachment to our family, one that is reciprocated to their family and their children.

see, my reality is a bit different than yours. If my husband and i were out of the picture tomorrow the person we have designated to take our children is not an immediate family member, it is someone from our close network of friends. so yes, i can say with absolute certainty that one of them one step up and continue to raise the kids.

what you need to remember is that it is the op who threw out librarian, soccer coach and pediatrician as who was helping to raise our kids. my kids are never sick so we rarely see a pediatrician, so i would agree they are not helping to raise our kids. as to a soccer coach, thats me, so yes i would say the soccer coach is definately helping to raise my kids. as to the librarian, she is very involved in our life and in our family adn is one of the people who is helping to raise our kids, not because she is the librarian, but because she is a close family friend.

i guess why i dont understand that you seem to have an issue with the fact that others use a village to raise their children. while it may not be your choice it is the choice we have made for our family and our children.
Jennie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:42am

i would have to disagree that these people are unsuspecting, these are people who are very close to our family and take pride in knowing they are helping to mold and shape (raise)children other than their own. there is no need to inform these people because these people are quite aware they are helping to raise other children than their own. since whn does having a family of ones own preclude helping to raise other children, i know it doesnt in our situation.

i guess if one only shows up to church on sunday morning your scenario might be relevant, but our involvement in our church goes way beyond that. our pastors were not just accessable for a few miniiutes after sunday services. to think that having a life of ones own precludes helping to raise other children is an incredibly selfish way of looking at life, IMO - i mean YIKES, i just wouldnt want to live that way. personally, i make time in my life to help others and as yet it has not had anything but a positive impact on my own life.

once again i would say it is obvious that you just dont understand what some of us are talking about because you dont experince it in your own life - what i dont understand is why you feel the need to be so nasty and condescending about it - but perhaps that is why you dont have the network that some of the rest of us have.
Jennie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:45am
that is so true....when my little guy goes to the sitter, he is as excited to see me if he is there for 1 hour or 3 hours - he has no concept of time.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:47am
Just wanted to let you know that this post, and the immediately preceding one, are absolute gems and I couldn't agree more.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:50am
to follow your lead here, isnt it true that one could woh and still exclusively breastfeed and homeschool.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:51am

***But that's the statement that has been made or similar. The sahp couldn't be the kind of parent they want to be if they were a wohp. But the partner of that sahp can be the kind of parent they want to be and work.***

How is that the same or similar to "I do not stay at home b/c I think that makes the best parent"? Or are you confusing 'the parent I want to be' with 'better/best/good/etc.'? When someone says they can't be the parent they want to be it doesn't necessarily mean they think they wouldn't be a good parent otherwise...

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:56am
i have never heard of a state that had child support set up that way (where they were required to pay childcare on top of child support) - normally it is a % of the non-cutodial parents income, the % of which is based on the number of children.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:57am

As I said before, I think we are pretty much done here.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:59am

That's great.


PumpkinAngel

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