Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:43pm

Some people feel that having a parent present, either parent makes for a better parenting situation rather then using othercare.

"Which leads to the obvious question of why it wouldn't be better (if *best practices* is the aim) to somehow allow that absent WOHP more of that all-important time with the kids, perhaps through dual WOHP's."\

Why would one parent (a SAHP) have to decrease their hours with the child/ren in order to allow "more time" with the WOHP? If a dual WOHP family can make enough time for their children, then certainly the WOH part of a SAH/WOH family can too, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:45pm
Who says they have different views? They may both share the same view which is that parenting duties should be divided along gender lines. This is an incredibly common view and it is only very recently and in only in some population subsets that a new view has come along that gender shouldn't matter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:56pm
Right, they both do an awesome job, but one needs a whole lot more time to handle it than the other does. A condundrum, for sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:00pm

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So, it's not about how much time a parent needs to spend with a child to be a good parent, it's more about avoiding othercare? Why?

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Sure, but then what's the point of SAH? Just to avoid othercare?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:05pm

We are talking about other adults being or not being so intimately involved in a childs life to the extent that they can be considered to be helping to raise them. NOT about being so isolated and without social interaction as you claim here.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:05pm
you are absolutely right. If a dual WOHP family can make enough time for their children, then certainly the WOH part of a SAH/WOH family can too, right? the issue comes in when you have people say that wohm's cant be spending enough time with their kids but wohd's can, or that a particular poster couldnt raise her kids in that small amount of time yet dad is still able to be this wonderful parent even though he has the same amount of time that the poster was saying was unacceptable to her for raising kids. (im not saying in any way that this applies to you)
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:08pm

Because I think that in the first few years of life a child benefits more from longer than a couple/few hours a day with their parents. I'd say time is very important to small children- even if they have little concept *of* it. I know mine notice and protest a great deal when I am away for any length of it (time) even if they don't understand the concept.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:10pm

"Because I think that in the first few years of life a child benefits more from longer than a couple/few hours a day with their parents."


Both parents, or can it be just one?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:10pm

So you don't think you're raising them in the early years? That you're just *beginning* to raise them once they enter school age, or preschool? Personally I think I've been raising mine since they were born- and that I'm doing so now- not that I'll just be starting when they hit preschool/grade school. But that's me.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:20pm
that is not what i meant and unless you are totally obtuse you know that as well. actually i have been raising them since they were born, but unlike you i dont think that raising stops when they hit 3 or school age depending on which of your posts one reads. and yes, i consider the first three years to be just the beginning of raising them, but then unlike you i am assuming there are going to be many more years or raising them so years 1-3 would be just the beginning.
Jennie

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