Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 3:39pm
you know, we are never going to agree on this - suffice it to say that i have people who are helping me to raise my kids - whether you agree or not is irrelevant - i know the role they play in the lives of my kids and my family. im sure all of our kids will turn out just great, even though we are choosing to raise them in alternative ways
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 3:42pm
i know several people who have managed to exclusively breastfeed, woh and not go to the extreme dramatic measures you are describing. ever hear of onsite daycare, where mom can use her breaks and lunch to go a breatfeed........
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 3:42pm
Right there that's a whole different thing than some of the responses one sees to that question. I'm trying to imagine how you feel. Maybe it's sorta like not wanting to see them go out without a coat on. I know it's not gonna kill them, but still I don't like to see it;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 3:44pm

So- if you had wanted to be an exclusively breastfeeding/homeschooling mom while you WOH- you could have done so? How would you have managed that?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 3:44pm
i can honestly say there is no way i could do that.... i give you lots of credit.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 3:57pm

Absolutely it is. The difference here is that she's saying she *wouldn't* whereas you are saying you *couldn't*. The difference being the choice to do something different.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 4:06pm

What you were commenting on had nothing to do with what we were previously discussing. You took part of one sub thread and tried to apply it to another. That explains the confusion.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 4:11pm

***Okay? What does that have to do with what I said? I am not following your line of logic here.***

You don't see the logic in how this (me) "It seems as if you're looking at parenting as two completely seperate individuals rather than as a parental unit" addresses this(you) "Of course I am, because well they are two completely separate individuals, especially since they have two very different ideas of what makes them each a good parent."?

You are viewing parents as two completely separate individuals whereas I am viewing parents as a unit. What aren't you understanding?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 4:17pm

***Which leads to the obvious question of why it wouldn't be better (if *best practices* is the aim) to somehow allow that absent WOHP more of that all-important time with the kids, perhaps through dual WOHP's.***

In our case whether I WOH or not DH would still have to WOH the same amount of time- so all that would occur is that our children would get less time with me, and the same time with him. If it *would* allow him to have more time with the children without introducing an amount of time that we weren't comfortable with as far as othercare, then I'd probably be WOH. LOL

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 6:15pm
I think it is an extremely rare thing that the working spouse would work less if the SAH spouse went to work. They are usually working as much as they want to be working. Most cases I see, is that the SAH spouse stays home *because* the other spouse is working a lot of hours.

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