Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
Find a Conversation
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
| Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm |
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

Pages
"The key word here is "perhaps" through dual WOHP. That's by no means the only possible way for both parents to spend plenty of time with the kids"
Of course it's not the only way, but it was the only way you suggested, hence the question.
Do you use or have you used othercare?
In replace of parental care on a continuing basis.
PumpkinAngel
" I didn't take it as a statement, I took it as a question and a pondering (or a leading)so to speak, since that is what she is stating. Why did you take it as a statement? I really think one needs to read the whole post or at least the whole paragraph here to place this question into context.
I don't think it means anything other than asking a question. So I really don't know how to answer your questions on a question."
That's funny because the person who posted it responded by saying *perhaps* was her way of saying it was only one of several options, not that it wasnt anything but a pondering.
"I think it's better to strive for equal involvement and disregard keeping time between parents."
I agree, hence the challenge of why you would ever reduce one parent's time just to try to make up time on the other parent's side. Makes no sense to me.
"Do you use or have you used othercare?"
Nope.
"In replace of parental care on a continuing basis. So that leads me to ask you to define parental care. I know that seems a bit strange to ask. But I am just trying to define where you think parental care ends and say a preschool/elementary school teacher begins if their is a difference. Or will you homeschool? What about coaches, Sunday School teachers, those kinds of things where a child may spend time on a continuing basis outside of a parents care."
First of all, you changed my definition. I didnt say "in replace of parental care" I said "Care given by anyone other than a parent (including other family) as a substitute for parental care on continuing basis. The *key word* being a substitute.
Any type of activity/invovlement that is for the sole purpose of enrichment and is not simply a substitute for parental care does not fit my definition of othercare. (ie: preschool/gradeschool/sunday school/team activities, etc).
<>
Yes, I read that after I posted to you.
PumpkinAngel
So you have never gone out with just your dh since the birth of your children?
PumpkinAngel
Jennie
I have zero problems with dual WOHPs with infants - under 2 years old. Easy for me to say, right, since we had great experiences with childcare and my "baby" is already 4?"
No I think its likely a personality thing. You are comfortable with othercare for infants...I'm not. Neither was DH. Now that said...we werent so uncomfortable that we didnt leave the house at times with the nanny home with the kids. But...neither of us worked full time in their first year; and then he has been at home since I went to work. Wored for us. We'd do the same if we have child #3....
"So you have never gone out with just your dh since the birth of your children? Did I read that you have 3 children or am I confusing you?"
Yes, we have gone out. But I dont consider use of a babysitter (friend or family) for a few hours on occasion the same as use of regular othercare. btw, it's 2 kids and one on the way.
"Sorry, I was thinking of substitute and to me that means "in replace of" parental care...which is not what you mean obviously. Like a substitute teacher is in replace of the regular teacher. So what do you mean by substitute if not in replace of the parents?"
Yes, you are correct, they are basically the same. I was just tired and not thinking clearly. Sorry.
"But othercare is not an activity/involvement that can be used for the sole purpose of enrichment? Does that mean you can't be doing other things during the hours your children are in the activity? Like for example the daycare at the gym, while one works out? Or planning your volunteer hours while children are in preschool? Having lunch while your kids are involved in an activity? That kind of thing."
I do feel it is possible to use my time wisely while the children are involved in an enrichment activity. But I dont view it the same as othercare. My definition of othercare definitely runs more towards a fulltime dcp (whether group setting/family care, etc)
She was a year older?
I just simply dont feel ready to put my child into a fulltime program before they enter gradeschool. My old DS will be in preschool for 12 hours a week in the fall and will go there for two years. After that he will be enrolled in half day kindergarten (for about 15 hours/wk). I just feel better about gradually increasing regular time spent away from parents and in the care of someone else to be line with their age and development level.
Pages