Heart vs. Head: The work status decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
2102
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 1:27pm
I'm sure it will come up eventually :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 1:28pm
You know that's a pretty good way to describe my feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 1:31pm
Both my DH and I grew up as close siblings (my parents had 3 in 3 years, and his 4 in 6 years) and we both very much enjoyed all that went with it. We decided early on to pattern our family in a manner similar to the way were raised. I cant say there arent some pretty crazy days though (with more to come)!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 1:39pm

"Yes, I read that after I posted to you. I'm sorry, I took it as a question since that is what it says. You asked me what I thought, which I stated, since I am not the one who wrote it...I could only guess and go at face value. Are you saying I should have known what she was thinking versus what she wrote?"

Not at all. In fact, my question was directed at sabinamariane, not you, so I didnt expect any resposne from you to begin with.

"You as in me or in a more general term?"

General you. Sorry for beign unlcear.

"I can see reducing one time with the kids for make up time for the other parent. There are times specifically that I have given up what would be my normal one on one time with the kids so dh can have extra time with the kids if he has been gone on a business trip or he hasn't experienced something the kids are doing because of work. Although we could of course all attend, often that one on one time is very important to both of our kids individually. So yes I can see it in different situations.

I agree completely and do the same for my working DH. He loves it he gets one on one time with the kids and I happen to also love getting time for myself too! Its a win win. Although we do make sure to balance that with whole family stuff as well.

"But for a sahp to go back to work to give the other parent more time....that I don't really see how it would work."

I cant either, that's all I was askign sabinmarianne in the first place. How that would work. KWIM?

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 3:13pm

When this is challenged, the response is usually more or less that it's too bad the WOHP isn't around more often, but it's worth it because of the benefits of SAH. Which leads to the obvious question of why it wouldn't be better (if *best practices* is the aim) to somehow allow that absent WOHP more of that all-important time with the kids, perhaps through dual WOHP's. "

Okay I'm lost...how would having dual WOHP's give that absent WOHP more time with the kids? If my DH worked and I stayed in my current role it would mean more other care for our children, not more QT for me with them....

MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 5:44pm
I was talking about situations in which the WOH parent works lots of extra hours to enable the SAH parent to SAH. That it might be worth thinking about to find a way to give the WOH parent more of a 40-hour workweek instead of having to work overtime.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 6:13pm
When did your nanny start caring for your kids?
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 6:17pm

Ah got it. I'm not in that mindset usually...I mean "working overtime." Most folks I know, and myself, are salaried professionals...so...we work the hours we work to do our job. Having another income wouldnt change the hours our roles entail....There's really no such thing as "overtime" in my field...

MM

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 6:21pm

We hired a part time nanny who started when the twins were 5 months old. But she would work *with* me or DH....occasionally she'd "watch" the kids while they napped and I'd be out of the house usually to run...or to see a client.

When I started full time we went to a full time 30+ hours a week nanny. Then to a full time live in nanny when they were 16 months old.

Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 6:22pm
You're in the same boat with a lot of folks these days. But there's always a way to find work with more limited hours if it's important to you, even if it's in a different field. How would you and dh feel about bringing up your babies as dual WOHP's who both work 60 hours per week, plus maybe some travel? If it were me, I'd probably get into something that doesn't take so much time, at least until they're a lot older.

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