Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
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Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
| Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm |
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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***so how many hours does this child need, and why is it they only need it with one parent and not both?***
Depends on the child, their age, their parents level of interaction etc.
***mine react the same if i am away for 1 hour or 5 hours, they have no concept of how long i have been gone.***
Interesting. Mine both notice very much when I am gone, and react differently to long absences than short ones. They also react very differently to DH on the weekends when he is home with them than they do on the weekdays when he's at work most of the day.
Jennie
OK- so let's go at it this way- what are the benefits of very young children in othercare? What makes *it* more beneficial, or even equal? What are the pros and cons?
Wytchy
How long is your child cared for by the nanny? I'd say that anyone who spends the same amount of time with a child as a SAHP or full time othercare provider would yes- be helping to raise that child. I merely disagree that someone like a child's pediatrician, librarian, clergy etc. is in that same position. For example- if I had a nanny, I'd say that yes- they were helping to raise my child- but I don't feel that the childcare staff at my gym is in that same position (they see my children for an hour or two a few days a week). The difference IMO is in the level of intimacy and relationship one has with the child. I just don't think that a child is going to have the same level of relationship with their coach, pediatrician etc. as they do with their parents. A nanny is taking the place of the parent for those hours the parent isn't there- a one-on-one personal and intimate relationship- so yes- that's different IMO.
Wytchy
I know when my kids were breastfeeding they were doing so every hour. Not possible in a lunch/break only WOH situation even with onsite daycare. Although it might work for some children- it wouldn't have for mine. I believe in feeding on demand- not making the child hold out until mommy can take her lunch. MHO and preference.
Wytchy
***Maybe it's sorta like not wanting to see them go out without a coat on. I know it's not gonna kill them, but still I don't like to see it;-)***
For me that's pretty much *exactly* what it is. I don't think, generally speaking, that daycare/othercare is going to *kill* a kid- or even maim them ;) I just think (if the child has loving, caring parents) that they'd do better with *them*- the people who love that child most in the whole world- at least during the early years. If the parents choose to both WOH- that's fine- I don't think they're bad parents. Just like I don't think the parents who let their kid go out without a coat are bad parents- I'd just rather see the kid with a coat on LOL! ;)
Wytchy
You are the one who is always asking for cut/pastes from hundreds of posts previous or othe threads etc. I've repeatedly told you that I don't have the time to go back through thousands of posts and find things for you. I ask *you* to do so ONLY because it seems so important that others do so for -you-. If you think it's so important for others to do so and you apparantly see no issue with the time involved in doing so, then certainly you ought to be able to provide the material. It's no double standard. I simply don't have time. Apparantly you do. So go ahead.
Wytchy
PA, I have a cable modem and type in excess of 90wpm. It takes VERY little time out of my day to make what posts I make. It takes quite a bit of time to sift through prior posts because I don't have a paid membership and have to load each post separately- which takes quite a bit of time, even *with* a cable modem.
As for debate standards- you're the one not holding yourself up to what standards you set for others. YOU are the one who finds it so important to cut/paste prior posts and yet can't be bothered to do it yourself when asked. The only reason you aren't doing so when I ask you for them is because I won't waste my time doing so for you. Just as the reason I ask *YOU* to do so is merely because you keep asking me to- I assume you must have more time to do so. That's not jealousy, that's not some judgement of whose time is "more important"- it's just a simple observation. But hey- whatever gets you through your day, right?
Wytchy
How is it even comparable when you're a WOHM and I'm a SAHM? Time management is SO very different for each of us given our different situations. I am quite happy with how I run my life, schmoopsy poo, but thanks for the hugs. ;)
Wytchy
"I know when my kids were breastfeeding they were doing so every hour. Not possible in a lunch/break only WOH situation even with onsite daycare. Although it might work for some children- it wouldn't have for mine. "
Your kids nursed every hour for months? Mine only nursed that frequently for the first few weeks. By the time they were 8-9 weeks old they had settled down to every 3 hours or so (they were fed completely on demand). That's the pattern most of my friends experienced, so I don't think my kids were particularly unusual.
Take me as an example- how could I *not* decrease my time spent with my children were I to start WOH?
Even take any random SAHP as an example- what are some ways that they could maintain the amount of time that they spend with their children while entering into a WOH arrangement?
Wytchy
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