Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
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Heart vs. Head: The work status decision
| Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:03pm |
Did you make your decision to SAH/WAH/WOH ft/pt based primarily on objective/tangible factors, or with your heart?

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***I find the contradiction in those statements interesting. On one hand it's very common for parent to have different views.....but as far as parenting it's not a great idea to view them as completely separate individuals.***
There's really no contradiction. I feel that parents should set aside or compromise on said differences as to provide a united front to the children- therefore both statements are correct.
***Or parent A feels that they need to be a sahp in order to be the kind of parent they want to be who is married to Parent B who feels that they don't need to be a sahp in order to be the kind of parent they want to be, working fulfills that for them.***
See- I don't see it as an issue of Parent A and Parent B. I see it as Parents A and B feel that they want a parent to care for their children rather than utilizing methods of othercare. Parent A fulfills that by being the best SAHP they can be. Parent B fulfills that by being the best WOHP they can be. They both want the same thing for their children but go about it in different ways. DH and I want a SAHP for our children. If it so happened that DH were better suited to SAH, and I were better suited to being the WOHP, we'd be fine with that. The issue isn't Me=SAHM, Him=WOHD. It's He and I wanting our children to be with a parent rather than another caregiver.
Wytchy
***...I took them both to work (not at the same time, of course), had a homedaycare provider very close and worked around my need/their need to breastfeed.***
So- do you feel that's a common situation among breastfeeding WOHM's?
***Homeschool....hmmm. If I felt that it was important for my family (I don't) and given my current occupation, I would find a job that either allowed me to work at home or in the evenings while dh was at home.***
And how does that allow you to homeschool? Homeschooling requires alot of hands-on time. How would one manage that while trying to WAH? When would you spend time with your DH if you were WAH/WOH in the evenings while he was home? Or wouldn't that be important to you? What about sleep? What about things around the house and other responsibilities?
***I am a pretty determined person, if I feel something is important for my family, I find a way to make it happen.***
Good for you. I'm exactly the same way LOL ;) I think most good parents *are*.
Wytchy
***I was talking about situations in which the WOH parent works lots of extra hours to enable the SAH parent to SAH. That it might be worth thinking about to find a way to give the WOH parent more of a 40-hour workweek instead of having to work overtime.***
I would agree with that. I would also, however, say that in my experience- at least around here- that is seldom the case. The WOHP spouses of the SAHP's would be working the same hours whether their spouse WOH or SAH. That's also the way it is for us. But yes- if it were a case of one parent rarely seeing their children just so the other could SAH? I could certainly see benefit to doing a dual WOH situation if that meant more time with the other parent.
Wytchy
...In situations like yours I'd say that it's probably something one *has* to happen into as a side-benefit rather than being able to plan for... That sounds rather complicated LOL! ;) Glad to hear it worked out for you though :)
Wytchy
***Your kids nursed every hour for months?***
I wasn't able to breastfeed past a week or so, but they *did* take bottles every hour for months- yes. DD longer than DS but DS was still pushing 4 months before he started going for longer stretches. They'd only ever take 2oz at a time until they finally started going longer. (And yes- I tried giving them more, they didn't want it.)
Still- many women return to work at 6wks or even sooner. From what all of the breastfeeding info I've read says, it's the first 6wks that are the hardest and when supply is being established/mother and child are getting the hang of things etc. I don't know that I'd be comfortable hitting that mark and messing with the status quo- ya know? Just getting the hang of it and then throwing a wrench in the works? And maybe your kids were like clockwork with their feedings- but neither of mine ever were, so feeding on lunch/breaks would never have worked for us.
Wytchy
Edited 2/5/2006 7:12 am ET by tinderbox3
I have been posting here much longer than you, and I have no idea what PKA's "time management skills" could possibly be. How could anyone on an internet message board? Yet, we're supposed to be jealous...
Anyway, we've come full circle and it is clear that to some it is about "equal" time, keeping "score cards" between husband and wife, and how the dual wohp set-up is allegedly "better" than the sahp/wohp household. So long as everyone's being honest here!
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