Helicopter Parenting in the Workplace

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
Helicopter Parenting in the Workplace
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Wed, 07-03-2013 - 10:43am

CNN has an article on helicopter parenting in the workplace and how it can negatively affect a person's job prospects and employment: 

Aaron Cooper, a clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, says mollycoddling mothers and doting dads can become a child's crutch.

Cooper says children, for the most part, often experience too many advantages of their omnipresent parents by the time they reach their teen years, so they're not particularly inclined to tell mom and dad to back off.

"They're more inclined to welcome the help because they are also seeing it as a cheerleader on their team pushing forward toward victory and success," Cooper said.

But "it's almost like a soft disability in their lives," he added, meaning that children become super reliant on their parents and unable to stand on their own.

Cooper attributes the growing phenomenon of over-parenting to a variety of factors. The first commonality is feelings of guilt that parents may have short-changed their children.

This is particularly potent when the parents have had full-time careers and may feel that they never really spent enough time with the children as they grew up. Cooper says it's the "I'm-going-to-make-up-for-it mentality."

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/02/living/cnn-parents-helicopter-parenting-job-search/index.html?hpt=hp_c4

If you were the employer, how would you handle a situation like those presented in the article?  What do you think about that correlation between WOH and being a helicopter parent?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 8:35pm

For the employer who withdrew the offer after "Mommy" called to find out particulars of the job, I give only applause.  Can you imagine the NIGHTMARE of having to work with the employee day in and day out with "Mommy" carefully overseeing baby's employment?  Ack.  If you're not old enough to negotiate your own employment, you're not old enough to be employed.

The employee who brought up what his dad thinks in a meeting with new clients would end up with a meeting with me and HR about 1) "We don't discuss business deals with Daddy" and 2) "If we have discussed business deals with Daddy, we don't mention it in the business meeting with clients" and 3) Nobody here cares what your Daddy thinks.

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 1:27pm
"Actually, a lot of SAH friends share common convinctions in why they chose to stay at home. " ----------- Yes, probably. But there are so many reasons why people SAH, that there really is no particular conviction or reason implied by that choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 1:09pm

DD1 is very good at telling me to back off, Lol.  When she leaves with friends I remind her to call when she wants to be picked up, she knowsss.  When she goes upstairs for the night I remind her to brush her teeth still, she knowsss.  When I remind her to smile before talking to a potential employer, she gives me the I knowsss then too, Lol. 

I really enjoy the dialogue that has come with having older kids now and while they still have a lot of growing up to do so do I in understanding them. 

I was talking with a church friend the other night who said the close relationship she had once wiht her DD has begun to fade away, I forget how old she said her daughter was but she was almost crying and my heart broke for her.  I get backing off and I know many moms going through this, Nobody said it would be easy I guess. 

 

 


 


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Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 12:50pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<div><em>"I still wanted to SAH then for all the reasons that implies." ---------- Wanting to SAH does not actually imply any particular reasons.</em></div><p> </p><p>Actually, a lot of SAH friends share common convinctions in why they chose to stay at home. </p>

What are those convinctions?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 12:31pm
"I still wanted to SAH then for all the reasons that implies." ---------- Wanting to SAH does not actually imply any particular reasons.

 

Actually, a lot of SAH friends share common convinctions in why they chose to stay at home. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 12:29pm

<<If you were the employer, how would you handle a situation like those presented in the article?  What do you think about that correlation between WOH and being a helicopter parent?>>

I would handle them in pretty much the same way.  Parents shouldn't be involved in the their children's work must past the age of 15, except to drive and possibly to bounce ideas off.  A parent should not call the place of employment on behalf of their child unless there is some type of emergency.

IME, helicopter parents are parents who make the family a child centered family, where everything is about the child and not the family as a whole.  I have seen both sah and woh families who had helicopter parents.  


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 12:29pm

This just proves helicopter parenting isn't specific to work status, A report like this doesn't surprise me.  I think we do the best we can with the tools we have, I may find a pretty fixed work schedule next school year and if I get it the timing couldn't be better b/c of my kids ages.  I have become more stand off-ish the older my kids have gotten and I feel pretty ok leaving them for periods of time that may have to fit a work schedule myself, There are still a couple things standing in the way, one specifically has to do with the diabetes my middle kid has been recently dx with and securing a routine or supervision if necessary for her.   But these thoughts, general would have never been mine five or so years ago, I still wanted to SAH then for all the reasons that implies. 

ETA disclosure that this job I am considering has been simmering all school year, DD's recent diagnosis could be a set back only if it's offered. 

 


 


Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 12:28pm
"I still wanted to SAH then for all the reasons that implies." ---------- Wanting to SAH does not actually imply any particular reasons.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 12:14pm

rollmops2009 wrote:
As for the parent seminar, I think colleges came up with this to keep the helicopter parents occupied and thus leave the kids free to do their moving in thing and the meet and greet stuff on their own.

Oops, should have read this before posting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 12:11pm

ashmama wrote:
We had told DD we were just planning to help her haul her boxes to her room and then kiss her goodbye, but now I feel like I have to call the school and ask if the seminars are, um, required.

As someone who works at a university, it's my understanding that those kinds of parenting seminars are usually designed to keep the parents out of the hair of the students and the university staff.  I would still call, but they will probably be relieved to hear that they can expect one less hovering parent.

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