Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
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Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
| Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am |
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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I really don't like feeling attacked for my opinion....opinions are just that....OPINIONS!
My SAHM status will not change because we rely on GOD to get us thru any situation that comes our way. So please do not patrinize me.
BTDT and my kids have the scars to prove it. :) I've lived in poverty and we are still lower middle class/just above poverty. Mostly by choice, granted. Dh's (the "d" stands for just about any adjective that starts with the letter "d"--dear, darn, drat, darling, etc.) position will never reach $20 an hour. Just the nature of the job. Mine could but only if I uproot our family and move to Chicago or New York as I posted and then work long hours. I don't have the ambition nor the desire to do that. No amount to paring down our budget will allow one of us, even if we wanted to, to sah. I'm not saying that no parent should sah. I'm just saying that it's not for every family nor for every child, for as many reasons as there are families and children. I'm glad that you get to do what you desire. And I hope that homeschooling works out for you should you decide to do it. I found it a wonderful experience for me. It turned out not to be the best educational choice for 2 of our children however.
Besides, according the deffinitions agreed to on this debate board, you are not strickly a sahm. You are, like me and several others here, a wahm.
Chris
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
DO YOU HAVE TO BE RUDE? I THOUGHT THERE WERE GUIDELINED ON BEING RUDE IN THIS COMMUNITY.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION...WHEN I RESPONDED TO THAT POST SAYING I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT COL MEANT IT HAPPENED TO BE LATE, I ALSO HAD A SICK 3 MONTH OLD IN MY ARMS! YES I DO KNOW THAT COL MEANS COST OF LIVING!! AND IN OUR TOWN IT IS NOTHING NEAR A COL AREA....SO PLEASE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY TO ME.....THEN DON'T RESPOND TO MY POSTS.
THANKS
Erica pays $900 for a studio apt.
Chris
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
WELL I GUESS YOU NEED TO MOVE TO OUR TOWN AND FIND OUT...UNTIL YOU HAVE LIVED HERE IN OUR SHOES...PLEASE DON'T JUDGE. I ONLY HAVE ONE JUDGE.....GOD.
I ALSO LOOKED ON OUR TAXES JUST NOW, AND WE MAKE 35,600.00 PLEASE DON'T ANYONE RESPOND IF ALL YOU ARE GONNA DO IS CRITICISE!
She did not patronize you. She asked you a question, a simple one at that. You never expect to woh, which is fine. But with or without God, you might have to all the same. So, do you really imagine that your kids will cease to be your top priority if for some reason you have to woh?
BTW, what is this wah job you have? I checked your site, but nowhere did I find out what you sell or what service you provide.
Low COL = low cost of living. It refers to housing costs, transportation costs, cost of insurance, etc. It has nothing to do with your personal income.
Im sure rural TX has a much lower COL than many other areas of the country. I sincerely doubt you could find a house in NJ on 4 acres for less than $500-600k, and even that would be difficult. If you could find it that half million mark would probably get you some old, one or two bedroom ranch in need of a ton of work.
Now with that in mind, enlighten me as to how someone could swing the mortgage payment alone (not taking into account the exorbitant property taxes someone would pay here or in many other areas of the country) on $35k a year?
Its just not possible. Its great for you that you live somewhere affordable, but not everybody does.
As for YOU being selfish...I never said that. I said what IS selfish, in my opinion, is jeopardizing important things such as the health of your marriage in order to SAH. If that doesnt reflect your situation, great.
And what exactly is you're doing when you make comments like this..
"I can't stand it when both parents are working outside the home, and there isn't the need for it. That to me is very selfish!!"
That's not an opinion..to me that's an attack on working women everywhere.
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