Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 10:58am

Blech.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:04am

By government help, I was referring to (future) social security and (future) college loans and grants.


I expect that SS will not be there when I retire, and if it is, it will be reserved to folks who really need it.


For the record, as I was in ROTC in college and received many grants and loans, Uncle Sam put me through

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:05am
I think you and others have made a very important point here. The anti-WOHM people seem to think that all WOHMs do so in order to have a 4,000 sq. ft. house and four vacations a year, not to mention the Cadillac Escalade. I'm in the same situation as you: We could make the mortgage payment on one salary (on the modest 1,500 sq. ft. home in which we live), but there would be no contributions to the 401(k), no family vacations (once a year, for a week, something I consider valuable and healthy for our family), and God forbid the car breaks down. Quite the contrary from what Wahu asserts, I feel I am serving my family well by bringing in an income that provides us with a kind of security we would not have on one income.

~Ghostwriter, M.A.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:26am

I understand. I just look at my 401K balance and I feel lots better.;o)

I've done without for a lot of years but we're now to the point we can actually start to enjoy life a bit more. For the first time in our lives, we have two TV's in the house now. I am so enjoying being able to actually watch a movie, lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:29am
How much are you paying for digital cable? We just signed up for it and it only cost $7 more a month for the digital box. I had to sell my soul to the devil here. I wanted a second TV so the kids weren't always fighting over what to watch and I could actually watch TV again. Going digital is what got dh to buy in, lol. Men are just big boys when it comes to their toys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:45am

Because we bundled our internet services, phone, and TV into one (Cox), the digital TV final cost is the same as basic cable. And the phone portion is half of what MCI or AT&T would charge us for the same services. Because we use the computer for both school and work and the phone is also my home business phone, a portion of those costs is deductable. I could argue that the history channels are also useful for my business but I'm not sure that the IRS would go along with me. :)

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:13pm

i don't think america's low savings rate condition is a reflection of sah/woh. do you? if yes,how?

what i think stinks is the explosion of a more and more materialistic society which has caused more of a tip in the economic balance..as long as we have people abusing credit,filing bankruptcy (if they can anymore,lol) and extending more and more lending privleges (fancy mortgage terms,3 years same as cash terms,i mean wtf? if you don't have the money to buy something now,it's most likely the 3 year same as cash borrower still won't have it then,lol),we will continue to see less and less available to retire on.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:17pm
well said,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:52pm

I agree. Nor have I seen any data that suggests that the savings rates between sah/woh families is different (or I guess I should say non-savings rates).

I really think that the interest only mortgages are evil. I can see only a few times when it wold be beneficial to a family to have one - and even than there are potential problems. 100% mortgages are another no no in my book.

My parents gew up during the depression and came of age during wartime rationing. Their spending and savings habits taught me to live well below my means, be generous and save.

We are a short term nation. We have don't deal with long term problems and long term solutions (environment, education, healthcare, fundung research for renewable energy sources.....)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:58pm
We all get government help one way or another. We drive on roads, use libraries, (most of us) send our children to public school.......

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