Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
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Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
| Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am |
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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I have to wonder how it got this way. Why do young people need things NOW? I have no issue saving for things because that's what I grew up with. I can still hear my father telling me to pay myself first when I got a job.
Sadly, my mom also ran up a huge charge card debt. It took all of the life insurance money and then some to pay it off when she died. Dad doesn't do credit anymore.
Hey Mondo~
I'm reading the KJV of the Bible. LDS are not literalists in everything. Nor do we believe everything is metaphorical.
Yeah the living wasn't difficult in the Garden before the Fall.
I agree the ground was cursed. Everything else was command not curse.
Given the Bible is not present in it's entirety, however, we know that God did marry them before the Fall and therefore there was some of their "roles" put into place. We have no idea if there was a specific mention of "roles" given before the Fall or not as written in the Bible. The roles were given and that is what we need to look at. I don't know what you are trying to prove by it not being printed before the Fall. Can you clarify? They went from being immortal to becoming mortal. They went from not understanding laws governing chastity and "replenishing" the earth to knowing all they needed to know. Boundaries needed to be set and our Father in Heaven set them.
If there is no mention of roles prior to the "great punishment", then we really can't make assumptions about what roles were meant to me.>>>>
Why not? Because it didn't happen til after the Fall? The Fall was a necessity. It was planned and part of the great plan of happiness. Had they not fallen we would not be here. Heavenly Father did not leave them alone after the Fall, instead He continued to teach them and giving them the boundaries and roles was one way He did that.
We need to use logic. The best word I can think of is "complement" where two people's strengths and weaknesses balance each other out.>>>>>>
I totally agree with you. However, the commandment was given. Men were to be the breadwinners and women the mothers to the children. Not only do we need to complement one another in both strengths and weaknesses but we also need to help one another magnify our divine callings to be both mothers and fathers in the way our Father in Heaven would have us to become.
The problem with your line of thinking is it assumes the man's strength is providing,>>>>
While it may not be his strength...that is something he has to reconcile and become humble enough to ask his Father in Heaven to help him with since it is a commandment for him to provide.
and the woman's strength is caregiving.>>>>>>
The problem you are h aving is taking in the idea that God provides us all the same opportunities to magnify our divine callings. He will help us do all that is placed before us. It is up to us to ask.
If we are weak in these areas respectively, it is up to us to learn how to magnify it. He would not command something and not provide the way. I know the Lord provides a way, He wants me to obey.
God doesn't pigeon hole people. We know He means for us to rely upon Him when we find a weakness that needs magnification where a commandment has been given. There is no disadvantage in having a weakness. Only in not asking for help to make it a strength.
I have spoken many times to our congregation and invited to speak to our youth about this very thing. Weakness was given to man to make them strong. One has only to take advantage of our enormous wealth of resources. A great scripture comes to mind when I think of it. I use it each time I speak about this topic:
We find it in the Book of Mormon
Ether 12: 27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
O
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
No, not knockdown drag out. but constant, heated and plain ugly border or could be emotional abusive yes. Not good.
I also believe that it is in the best interests of children to see their parents have differences and then resolve them. I never had that but my dh and I believe it is best for our children to learn that marriage is real and not some fairytale but also that it can be happy even when there are disagreements.
O
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
O
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
I suppose it's all in interpretation and I believe that belongs to the Holy Ghost and those blessed to have the gift thereof. I don't believe in Sola Scriptura. I believe in living Prophets who commune with God and know His will to those who would listne in the world. I believe in personal revelation and being able to know God's will for me and my family.
O
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
O
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
Jennie
I didn't lambast anyone. I think too many people here are taking things completely out of context.
I said when it comes to childbirth that either women underestimate the power in their body or they actually understand their limitations.
Either way, isn't it true? Either way,,,,I made no judgments. I don't think anything is actually wrong with either of the two I suggested. I do think there is something wrong with medication but if it is a must then it is. Plain and simple.
O
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
Thanks for the clarification. That's what I thought you meant.
Chris
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
I've been mulling this post over in my head all day.
Basically, you are arguing that women shouldn't make the choice to stay at home if it means they will need to rely on social security for their retirement and federal loans and grants for their kids.
So what about this situation:
Jill is deciding between being a lawyer and a teacher. (For the sake of argument,) she is equally capable of pursuing either career and would be equally successful in each one. She decides, however, to go into teaching because she prefers to teach (for whatever reason-- loves kids, wants the summers off, etc.) Making this choice, though, means that her kids' college accounts might not be fully funded and her retirement savings will most likely need to be supplemented with social security. Did Jill make a selfish choice? Should she have pursued the career that would have provided more income for her family's future?
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