Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:49pm
I know plenty of high earners who can't save a dime. We bring in less than $30k a year and save more than 15%. While a family has to bring in enough in order to save, all the income in the world won't help anyone if they can't manage to save. I think people are savers or not savers. Period. It's unfortunate that your point of disagreement has nothing to do with my point. Par for the course with you though. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:07am
i would imagine that a generation ago those numbers would have been even fruther apart and a generation from now they will be closer, as more men realize that there are many things involved in providing for a family besides a paycheck. that only bodes for great things for the next generation as they become adults - they will finally have a choice.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:48am

Actually, a good deal did. ever hear of the industrial revolution and textile mills - mostly women working them. Also, during this era many women took in piece work at home - and not only were they working but so were the children. During the time when we were an agarian society both men and women worked at home (the family farm) and even though it was at home the amount of work was nothing like staying home now. It wasn't until work moved to the office/factory that we have a different understanding of what staying at home means. It was after the Great Depression that we have women not returning to work and "staying home" mostly because of how jobs came back into the fold and shortly thereafter women went back into the factories during WWII, left after the end of the war and briefly stayed home until their return to working in the 1970's.

Women have always worked (except for the brief period starting in late 40's ending in the 70's) its just that the nature of the work changed as well as the location - just like the nature and locatation of men's work changed. And please note that women of color and poor women have always worked (usually as domestics) while having children. Interestingly enough the Irish actually sent their women over to the new country first to work as domestics. The logic was that women working as domestics would have room and board provided to them and therefore more of their earnings would be saved faster because it would not have to be spent on room and board resulting in being able to bring the rest of the family sooner. Pretty smart!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 2:58am

<>

That would have been a clever trick indeed, given that "the Great war" was World War I. So named because prior to World War II, there was no need to differentiate the war with a numeral.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 3:14am
The idea that scripture is "missing" and can be completed here and there is not one that is accepted in Christianity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:37am

the myriad of family structures would seem to counterindicate the belief that there is "ONE" best way to raise a family, LOL!

Thankfully, we've chosen to do it OUR way.

And just a question for you....if I woh for 40 hours per week and am HOME with my children for (approximately) the remaining 128 HOURS per week (and am RESPONSIBLE for said children), how in the world can I be "abdicating my parental responsibility"??? That doesn't even make ANY sense.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:49am

But 15% of 30K isn't much considering the cost of retirement and how medical costs sky rocket as we get older. We are limited by our incomes when it comes to savings. No matter how frugally you live, you'll never match what we put away just for retirement. Because I WOH, we are both able to make max. contributions to our 401K's.

I'd congratulate you on being able to save such a high percentage on a low income but the percent you save is only part of the equation. What it's a percentage of is the other. Personally, I'd be frightened for my future if I was saving as little as you. I've known too many senior citizens with monhly prescription bills that would eat through that in a hurry.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 6:01am

"to me, gay parenting is just not a viable option. I don't view gay parenting as a stable option."

Wow. I admit reading that was a little like getting punched in the gut but I have to admire your honesty I guess LOL

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 7:09am

What's unstable about gay parenting? I know gay couples who have been together much longer than hetero couples. 50% of marriages end in divorce, so how are hetero parents inherently more stable than gay parents?

There ar 8 million children waiting to be adopted in the state where I live. Hetero couples are not stepping up to the plate to provide them with a home. I disagree with you that those children are better off languishing in foster care, perhaps never having a home where they feel wanted and loved, than they would be in a stable home with gay parents.

As to your beliefs, you're entitled to believe whatever you want, as are the rest of us.

~Ghostwriter, M.A.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 7:13am

I urge you to read my post more carefully. I said that prior to WWII, women routinely contributed to the household income and were often entrepreneurs, whether they ran their businesses inside or outside of the home. I also said that children were often expected to be in the fields or shops contribting to household income, as well.

I don't recall saying anything about when the world began.

~Ghostwriter, M.A.


Pages