Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 9:32am
I have friends that drive to Holy Trinity in the District because the Diocese here in Northern Virginia is too conservative. I believe that it and the one in Nebraska are the last two to not allow girls to be Altar People.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 9:47am
Hey, Janet. Just wanted to say hello to a fellow Virginian. I was born and spent most of my first 33 years in Alexandria.

~Ghostwriter, M.A.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:23am
(((((Applause)))))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:26am
So, if there was an orphan in the extended family, say, and after much prayer, God told you to let gay Uncle Bob raise the orphan you would, I guess. IOW, even in your scenario there is room for homosexuals to raise kids, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:27am
Hang in there!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:31am

I wasn't trying to read more into your post than was there. And I know that it was directed at a specific statement by another poster. It just sparked an idea in my head.

Basically, my question, not necessarily to you, is whether people who look down on or consider irresponsible women who choose to SAH, would also feel the same way about a woman who chooses a career path that she knows will not give the same level of financial stability that another would.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:49am

Most importantly, if you want to argue for a universal "best," you will need some good reasons to back up your choice. Religious belief obviously does not count if you are arguing for a universal.

Also, universal bests are usually not so much "bests" but rather absence of "worsts." For example, most people can muster cogent arguments why it is best if husbands do not beat their wives, parents not beat their kids, kids are not left without food and so on.

It is much harder to make a positive pronouncement with the same universal applicability.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:50am

No. It isnt always true-that was my point. As usual, you are taking a very generalized statement and trying to apply it to everyone across the board.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:55am
What is wrong with medication? Do you only disagree with meds for childbirth or also for other diseases (mental illness or others) ? Do you generally disapprove of pain medication?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 11:10am

I feel the opposite of you. I was able to work pt (24hrs) for 3 years before returning to working ft. I did not want to work ft at that time, and I was willing to give up work for awhile if the right pt situation did not prove forthcoming. I was able to carve a pt role that had plenty of value to my company; when I returned to ft work, they rewarded me by giving me too much responsibility - it was a managerial role when my previous role had been strictly technical. I've grown into the role and I can not imagine doing anything else now. So my pt experience led me to something I may not have considered if I had always worked ft.

Work-life balance has always been a juggling act for my family. Both my dh and myself have been willing to adjust our work schedules to do what we felt worked best for our family. With 3 kids two years apart, both of us working 40-50hrs a week did not work at all. It may have impacted our career advancement, or it may have opened other paths that we would never considered.

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