Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
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Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
| Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am |
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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~Ghostwriter, M.A.
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I wasn't trying to read more into your post than was there. And I know that it was directed at a specific statement by another poster. It just sparked an idea in my head.
Basically, my question, not necessarily to you, is whether people who look down on or consider irresponsible women who choose to SAH, would also feel the same way about a woman who chooses a career path that she knows will not give the same level of financial stability that another would.
Most importantly, if you want to argue for a universal "best," you will need some good reasons to back up your choice. Religious belief obviously does not count if you are arguing for a universal.
Also, universal bests are usually not so much "bests" but rather absence of "worsts." For example, most people can muster cogent arguments why it is best if husbands do not beat their wives, parents not beat their kids, kids are not left without food and so on.
It is much harder to make a positive pronouncement with the same universal applicability.
No. It isnt always true-that was my point. As usual, you are taking a very generalized statement and trying to apply it to everyone across the board.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
I feel the opposite of you. I was able to work pt (24hrs) for 3 years before returning to working ft. I did not want to work ft at that time, and I was willing to give up work for awhile if the right pt situation did not prove forthcoming. I was able to carve a pt role that had plenty of value to my company; when I returned to ft work, they rewarded me by giving me too much responsibility - it was a managerial role when my previous role had been strictly technical. I've grown into the role and I can not imagine doing anything else now. So my pt experience led me to something I may not have considered if I had always worked ft.
Work-life balance has always been a juggling act for my family. Both my dh and myself have been willing to adjust our work schedules to do what we felt worked best for our family. With 3 kids two years apart, both of us working 40-50hrs a week did not work at all. It may have impacted our career advancement, or it may have opened other paths that we would never considered.
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