Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:15pm

"Work-life balance has always been a juggling act for my family."


We're lucky in that we haven't had to juggle. I've always been the earlier to work/earlier home parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:21pm

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:25pm

That is a good question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:35pm
I'm not disagreeing with you, you got to make the best choice for your family, just as I got to make a different "best choice" for my family. Viva la difference!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:40pm
Cool. I do admit to still being curious as to why you both working 40 or 50 hours a week didn't work....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:41pm

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That's true, but for my DH and I we were able to choose from many different careers. We have purposely chosen fields that do not pay much but offer a great deal more flexibility because of concerns about the time we will be able to spend with our kids.

Many here have said or implied that people do their children a disservice by not WOH unless their college accounts are fully funded. I wonder if they would feel the same way about a person who chooses to work at a lower-paying job.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:46pm

Like Marcia said, you have to do what suits your personalities.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:14pm

So then it would be a sin for a mother who is gifted in the sciences to discontinue her research, assuming she had the opportunities and desire to continue her research without adversely affecting her family, right? And, if a father was gifted at nurturing children and running a household, and had the opportunity and desire to do so, it would be a sin to force him to work outside of the home based on his sex, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:20pm
High paying jobs may come with flexibility over time, but as a lawyer, you are most likely never going to have the summers off, for example. If someone would be equally happy as a lawyer or a teacher, should he or she choose to be a lawyer if having summers off are important to him or her?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:26pm

How in the world is "gay parenting" (by this I assume you mean gay parents, not some specific method of parenting that I've never heard of) not a stable option??

And how could you ever think that adoption could be LESS stable than foster parenting? How could a child having a parent or parents FOR LIFE be any less stable than foster care when you live in the home of someone who may or may not care for you, with someone who receives a check to care for you (and may or may not use that stipend appropriately to provide for your essentials), someone who can decide to kick you out at any time, someone who has no vested interest in preparing for your future (or teaching you to do so), and in a system that will wave goodbye to you on your eighteenth birthday, whether or not you are able to be self-sufficient. (Note, I'm not saying that all foster care is bad, but it's not all good either. It's a crap shoot, which some kids win and others lose. But it's certainly not a stable way to grow up.)

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