Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:30pm
"gay parenting" makes me chuckle too as if it has one iota to do with what kind of a mom I am.... my girlfriend and I also chuckle over the phrase "gay lifestyle" She always says "what is this lifestyle we're supposed to be living? " let's see this weekend we grocery shopped, took my dd out for pizza one night, went to see a local community theater production of High School Musical, and made a family pasta dinner (the one thing I CAN cook) --if that's a "gay lifestyel" then I think more of you are gay than are fessing up to it! LOL

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:39pm
But you didn't say that. You said that people with a lower income are LESS LIKELY TO SAVE, not that people with a lower income save less. That's sort of a given. And since I've got a good 30 years before I approach senior-dom, you don't need to worry about me. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:40pm

My husband would be thrilled to be a SAHD. I know because he has said so many times. If either of us were to be a SAHP, it would definitely be him.

I've no doubt that the majority of men prefer to work outside of the home. But how much of that preference is because of society's expectations of men and the male gender role? How many men are confident enough to not care about what society dictates?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:47pm
Oh I know. The amount in which someone is able to save depends a lot on how much money is coming in and how many expenses are going out. I still don't think that a family is any more likely to save if they are a DWOH family, nor do I think that having more money will make anyone who isn't likely to save to begin with, save. Either they do or they don't. The amount of people who *would* but can't because they don't make enough only applies to a small percentage.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:48pm
Your description of a "gay lifestyle" sounds great to me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 2:00pm
I also think that people who earn less are probably going to be comfortable retiring on a lot less than someone who makes more. If I have made 30,000/year, I might be okay retiring on 25,000/year. But if I have made 100,000/year, I'm probably going not going to be satisfied on 25,000/year.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 2:14pm

>>>>>>>>The amount of people who *would* but can't because they don't make enough only applies to a small percentage.

I haven't done the research necessary to either support or refute this statement. I think it's safe to assume that people living in poverty are not able to save money. And I spent enough time in a situation (not living in poverty) where we were barely getting the rent paid to know that it wouldn't have mattered how badly I *wanted* to save, it just wasn't going to happen. I tend to shy away from generalites like the one quoted above.

~Ghostwriter, M.A.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 2:18pm

"If someone would be equally happy as a lawyer or a teacher, should he or she choose to be a lawyer if having summers off are important to him or her?"


It depends what else is important to the person.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 2:21pm

"The amount of people who *would* but can't because they don't make enough only applies to a small percentage."


I must be highly unusual.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 2:27pm
Wow, that doesn't sound too far removed from what we did this weekend, so DH and I must be "gay parenting" too.

 

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