Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 4:11pm

Yes, that is what I would like to know. If someone is just going to say "my religion demands that I do XYZ," there is no debate. All I can say is pretty much "best of luck with it." It does not really have anything to do with my life or my choices.

As far as breastfeeding, that is one of the many reasons why most civilized countries have extended PAID maternity leaves.

BTW, my great-grandma died due to her inability to BF (massive mastitis, no antibiotics), her dd, my grandma, could not BF either. She had what is called "witch's milk" in Danish. The fat percentage was too low for the baby to thrive, so the baby rejected the milk and screamed for hunger. It is rare, but perfectly real.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 4:15pm
OK, but that is the closest you have come to saying that it is simply religious belief on your part to argue for SAH being "best." If that is so, fine! But, you can't very well expect the rest of us to arrange our lives according to LDS doctrine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 4:26pm

I guess the few people I know whose home equity has counted have kids that went to private schools (which sometimes look at home equity).


That's why we're paying down our mortgage and funding our 401k's to the max.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 4:28pm
Believe it or not...yes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:22pm

what is lds....latter day saints?

she's certainly not alone wrt living by the rule of the bible. i know lots of people in my own faith who follow strict church doctrine (if you go through bible study though,you really learn the liberty we have with some of that,lol). i just found out someone in my church is expecting her 7th child. she and her husband are very devout catholics. i'd wager that genesis is a favorite book of theirs. :)

but what i'm curious about is why (we) challenge folks whose convictions do come from something like the bible over folks who can simply identify their lifestyle and choices and get a pass....it sounds to me like some folks are way too selective and anti-religious. and what's really ironic is that both subjects on opposite sides of the latest argument wrt homosexuality appear to be kind,humble christians. go figure.

 

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:27pm

I do think that we're too quick to challenge religious beliefs when the fact of the matter is they are deeply personal -- while I won't lie and say it didn't hurt to hear phoenix think I'm not providing a stable home simply bc/ I'm gay I respect her religous beliefs and would only ask that she judge me as a person not as apart of some group that she distrusts and fears....what I do object to in the religious discussions is thinking that one's religious beliefs are applicable to everyone. I've been aroudn ivillage long enough to know my share of agnostics, atheists, hindus, wiccans, muslims, you name it on these boards....and fundamental respect for each others beliefs is key to also exercising ones right to say "I politely disagree..."

and ironcially, my mom is a Salt Lake City native -- I have uncles and cousins who converted to LDS and have gone on missions...I have a long family connection to that church LOL!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:30pm
Estimate? I have a good idea of what we will be making in 18 or so years. I can also estimate about what the expected family contribution would be based on that income. Although if they change the calculation for expected family contribution, we're out of luck. In any case, I plan to take full financial responsibility for, at the minimum, whatever the our expected family contribution is when DD fills out her FAFSA. Since DDs ability to get grants and loans will be based on our income, I think it is only fair to pay the EFC.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:32pm

<>

True, but there comes a point when saving a greater percentage just isn't an option.



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:32pm
Sorry!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:34pm
I was basing it on the stat that only a minority percentage of people are super low income.

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