Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:15pm
"I believe in personal revelation and being able to know God's will for me and my family." me too, imagine that. i am just so glad that GOd's will for me and my family is nothing like his will for you and yours.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:18pm
and perhaps God has enlightened some of us to realize that providing a paycheck is not the only way to provide for ones family
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:24pm
No stats to post but I think it's very low for families with very young children. I've read that their work schedules are horrendous and that makes it very difficult to have two WP's. Their culture is quite different from ours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:30pm

Did you read my post? Most of us can expect our medical expenses to be the larger part of what we need for retirement. That I have a smaller house doesn't help me pay the prescription or doctor's bill. The person with the bigger house is at the advantage because they can always sell the house and downsize if they get ill. The person who has lived on less their entire life (unless they saved a lot) isn't likely to be able to do that.

Have you priced nursing homes lately? My SM had to go into one for almost 3 months for rehab. If she hadn't had a sizeable bank account she would have been SOL. When it was time for her to move into assisted living, the house was sold and that paid for years of services. No, you cannot assume that someone who makes less will be happier on less during retirement. You're not very happy if you can't afford the care you need no matter what you're used to.

If you live long enough, you probably get ill and, at some point, require nursing or assisted living care. I can't imagine what it's like to outlive your money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:45pm

"Scary, huh?"

Yes, VERY scary. Every time they talk about doing away with medicare, I cringe. I'd rather see social security go. I can plan for my basic living expenses but I cannot plan for health issues. It's a shot in the dark but chances are I'll get sick with something and require some sort of care. What that will cost is frightening.

Before my FIL died, he was taking thousands of dollars a month worth of prescriptions (his cost). Had they not been well off, I don't know what they would have done. Well, I do. He would have died a years earlier than he did and left my MIL destitute.

My plan is to save everything I can while I can and try to live as frugally as possible against the day I might need that nest egg for additional care. I only know two seniors who have made it to 80 without having to either bring in help or having to move into assisted living and that is not cheap. My SM's rent was $1500/month not including any meals. The apartment complex she lived in was nice but not extravagant by any means. Having help around 24 hours a day is expensive.

I wish the senior me would be just a slower version of me now but I know better.

I have to ask this. Do the seniors you work with tell you about their bowel movements? I swear if you have a two minute conversation with any of the seniors in either my step dad's or step mom's senior apartments they'll volunteer when their last BM was. Dad even writes them on the calendar they're so important. TMI dad, TMI, lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:48pm
Given the savings rate in the U.S. I'd say more are unprepared than prepared. Pensions are going away (being replaced by defined contribution plans). So is company provided medical during retirement and Social Security is not at all secure. I'm willing to bet far more people are not prepared than are prepared.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:57pm
my king james bible doesnt have an 11th commandment that says mothers should sah and dads should woh
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:59pm
So how much do you think people need to comfortably retire, and by comfortably retire I mean pay all medical and living expenses?


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 11:01pm

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Currently? Or will be in the future? If you are talking about currently retired people not being prepared, I'd disagree. If you are talking about future retirees, I would tend to agree.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 11:06pm
i think challenges to ones religious beliefs rarely occurs until someone tries to force their religious beliefs onto someone else or tries to hold themselves up as better because of those believes.
Jennie

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