Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
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Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
| Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am |
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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Jennie
I honestly don't mind you saying that. It is your opinion and that is what they are for....
Why it hurt me for you to say that when I know what my schedule is like all day, and I know for a fact that I am not lazy? So to me it is nice to know how you feel about it. No harm done at all.
It is not a challenge. I said a few times that if it is simply religious belief there is no discussion. Personally, I am religious, not anti-religious. But I also recognize that I can't argue that others should follow the doctrines of my faith.
For example, down here lent starts on Monday. The Greek lent is quite strict, by tradition, no meat, dairy, eggs or fish, but we are allowed shell fish and squid. I am not about to argue that it is "best" to follow this fast for 40 days. Why should you follow it, if you are not Orthodox? Does it make you a less than good person that you do not follow it? No, of course not. If I wanted to convince you, for some strange reason, to try it, it would make sense to give you non-religious arguments for why you should (there are some).
Heck, we follow the Torah (1st 5 books of the Old Testament) and nowhere is it written that women sah and men woh.
Nope. My rabbi never mentioned that rule ever being there, LOL!
Carole
Well THERE's the problem -- we only follow the Old Testament (you know those first 5 books of the Torah).....
Nope. Nothing in there about men woh and women must sah. Have I mentioned that I LOVE being Jewish?
Carole
Enough so they can cover their living expenses and sizeable medical bills without touching their principle.
I figure social security will become a need based program and medicare as well and that I won't be deemed to need either because I have savings. The thing that has me most worried is my vested pension. Will that really be there when I retire? I could be working longer than I planned if it doesn't. Which is why I'm maxing out 401K's now.
The possibility of not getting the pension I was promised kind of threw a monkey wrench in for me. I've never included social security in my retirement estimates because I figure it will be a welfare system by the time I get there with only the needy getting it. I've had to step up my contributions to my 401K because my employer just switched to a defined contribution pension plan. As of last June, my pension is frozen. From then on, they deposit 4% of my income into an account that I'm supposed to use to buy an annuity to replace my pension when I retire. I think I got the short end of this stick but, on the bright side, that is something that is mine and even if the company doesn't survive, I can't lose it.
With all the companies in trouble with pensions, I kind of wish they'd offer me a buy out on my regular pension I have vested. The old proverbial bird in the hand here. Sure I might get two in the bush. MIGHT.
Edited because I didn't want to give the impression that setting a retirement goal as a percentage of your pre retirement income is a good idea. I happen to have a good income so for me it works to set it that way.
Edited 2/13/2007 6:44 am ET by gr8fulmom1
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