Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 5:46am

OMG!!! you mean you were out and about like regular, normal, everyday people??? GASP! That must be what it's like when my students find out that their teacher does all of that too! My kids are always suprised when they run into a teacher in town -- as if that teacher isn't a "real" person.

FWIW, I think that poster is way off-base. In fact, I can't say (without risk of being thrown off here) how I really feel about that. I think she's very, very wrong.

I can't believe that anyone could think that your dd would be better off raised in foster care (which has it's purpose) than in a family with two women who love and care for her dearly.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 5:57am

LOL, I am glad you like your faith, but it is not a command for Christians either. It may be for the Mormons, but then they have various scripture that I am unfamiliar with.

Some Christian sects, especially in the US, follow various "rules" that they purportedly get out of the OT (like women not cutting their hair), but I really am not sure how they pick something like not cutting women's hair and being all hung up on spilling the seed, for example, yet ignore all kinds of other rules, like the injunction against eating seafood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 6:54am
It's not all seafood. Fish with scales are clean.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:05am
Yes, sorry, meant to write shell fish, but goofed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:32am

i don't agree with you....this is a board that asks us to support our opinions. there are ppl who take the bible quite literally. it's ignorant to not believe that. if one can say a woman's role is to sah,feed her family while dh works in the field,and that belief comes from the bible,why isn't it enough? homosexuality is considered a grave sin,too...no,that doesn't allow us to judge our neighbor because it's not about our neighbor.

i just think it's crazy that we're quick to salute some while condemning others,here. the latest parade was all about "oh,don't listen to her..it all stems from religion!" bleh. the one judging and making themselves look really bad is the one ostracizing.




Edited 2/13/2007 7:46 am ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:54am

<,don't listen to her..it all stems from religion!>

You completely missed the point. I have not seen anyone dismissing anyone's religion as a valid way to live one's life. What is dismissed it that their belief system can be universally applied to everyone else, especially non-believers. If a poster believes SAH is religiously mandated, go for it, but those beliefs don't apply to me and they are an ineffective argument in any debate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:54am
and i can respect that...i understand there's a difference between law abiding orthodox and catholic,too. but if i were to just say oh that's stupid. your beliefs are old and not up to par with modern time. get a real life....then my argument would be one of ignorance.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 8:37am

I agree with you that we should not dismiss or attack others

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 8:40am

I hear the hype about SS and medicare going away. But they keep extending the date that SS will go "bankrupt" and even then they are talking about people getting 80% not $0. IMO, alot of it is pure Conservative spin and hype because they want it to go away.

Yes, it needs to be overhauled and restructured, but not eliminated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 8:55am

It needs to become a security net as it was expected to be. It was never intended to be a retirement plan. It needs to become need based. For people who have nothing but social security, even 80% (you've heard higher numbers than me as I've heard more like 60-70%) may not be enough given how medical costs are rising and rates of inflation. I see it going to a sliding scale with the poorest getting possibly more than they expected and people on the other end getting, MAYBE, a token payment.

I do think the system is headed for insolvency. People are living longer than ever and there are a lot of baby boomers on the edge of retirement right now. I think it will go belly up if it's not changed but when that would happen really depends on when the baby boomers start retiring in great numbers. If something delays their retirements, the system has longer to prepare.

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