Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
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Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
| Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am |
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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That is not always true.
yea,i've read the twists,too....it's one thing to say woh is selfish and irresponsible after children and another thing to twist it to mean *you* are selfish for woh. i suppose i could take some things really personally too - like what people like to refer to my posts as or all people think sah is.....newbies in particular and whose convictions maybe in the minority are really singled out here and that's really a shame. take it from me,you either drop like a swatted fly or you grow really,really thick skin and put up with it. :)
Edited 2/13/2007 9:30 am ET by egd3blessed
~Ghostwriter, M.A.
Beautiful!
You know, she says not to judge thy neighbor but isn't that exactly what that poster did the minute she said a child is better off in foster care than with gay parents?
"it's one thing to say woh is selfish and irresponsible after children and another thing to twist it to mean *you* are selfish for woh. "
No, it is not one thing and another, it is exactly the same thing. I could go spouting that it is immoral for anyone to eat meat during lent. That would include you, your friend and the lady down the street. It is a judgment, and an arbitrary one at that.
"I think in choosing a job or career, your decision is best based on retirement package and benefits than salary. "
IME, that would limit you to government (local, state or fed take your pick). I worked for a big name insurance company that no longer offers retirees health benefits (stopped in the early 90's) - the only people grandfathered were those who were already retired. They also switched to a defined contribution retirement plan (aka added a few more % points to their 401k contribution). So long pension plan.
DH's company privitized a few years ago and with it went the health insurance after retirement too. I expect them to convert the retiree plan in the next year.
I know many couples who have one in the schools or government wprk just so they have retiree health benefits. I suspect that those will fall by the wayside in the next twoenty years too.
Times are tough right now with employement and with sustaining your benefits.
"Usually decent companies with decent salaries have decent retirement plans and health insurance."
Until you retire. In the late 1980's, Congress felt that corporations were not accounting for the future liability of promised retiree health benefits. THey passed a law that now requires companies to estimate those future liabilities. As a result, companies started eliminating the liability rather than showing it on their books. Every year more and more companies pull out of it.
http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d01374.pdf
http://www.epinet.org/content.cfm/books_health_ins_ret
http://www.ebri.org/publications/ib/index.cfm?fa=ibDisp&content_id=3497
http://www.aarp.org/bulletin/yourmoney/broken_promises.html
<...no,that doesn't allow us to judge our neighbor because it's not about our neighbor>
You do realize that the term *neighbor* in regards to judging does not literally mean the people who live next door to you? Judging one's neighbor means judging one's fellow man.
Yes, there are people who take the bible literally, yet these same people seem to want to cherry-pick their beliefs in that regard. They *say* they take the bible literally yet seem to fall short on things like judging others-seems pretty hypocritical to me.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
http://www.agingstats.gov/update2006/Economics.pdf
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