Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 11:40am
Thanks for your thoughts.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 11:43am
It would vary by area. Where I live, it would be perfectly ok to expect someone with an income of 30k to save. Other places, not so much. Are you trying to say that the percentage of people in this country who simply don't make enough money to save is that astronomical? I'm not trying to be exact here, but I doubt that the "can'ts" outnumber the "won'ts".
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 11:46am

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DH and I will both probably end uo working for the gov't, so benefits are covered. Probably retirement too.



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 12:17pm

"it's one thing to say woh is selfish and irresponsible after children and another thing to twist it to mean *you* are selfish for woh"


I'm sorry, but I don't see any real difference.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 12:29pm
If I didn't mention this already, I will now. I do not have the time to do the research necessary to determine if what you say is true. I do recall saying I tend to shy away from those kind of generalities. Even if you confined it to a very low COL area, the salaries are usually commensurate with the low COL, and it is my opinion that there are a lot of people who would love to have a savings account, some kind of safety net, who are barely (if at all) getting their bills paid. I used to be one of them. I don't dispute that there are plenty of people who *could* be saving money who choose instead of spend every dime on things they could do without, but I guess I don't see any useful purpose in speculating about what percentage of people that represents. Furthermore, I think a lot of people were never taught a thing about managing their money (I sure wasn't) and don't have the first clue about how to develop and stick to a budget that includes putting something away for a rainy day, much less retirement. I just really don't like to make blanket statements about large groups of people when I haven't personally conducted the research to see if my hypothesis is correct

~Ghostwriter, M.A.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 12:42pm

I know this board has been over this before, but how can a family of 4 like mine save anything if the household gross income is $30,000?


$30,000 total. Subtract:


- $5,000 (federal, state and local taxes)


- $8,000 (rent or mortgage)


- $7,000 food and personal care items


- $6,000 transportation (gas, car payment, insurance, parts and maintenance)


- $3,000 clothes (assuming the family has 2 children)


That's already $29,000.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 12:47pm
I'm going to guess they spend a lot less on food, transportation, and clothes.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 12:50pm
I'm only speculating on what is more likely. I think it's far more likely that whether people save or not is based on whether they know how, not their work status or income. (Which is what gr8fl was positing) That is, if we agree that there is a category of people who cannot save because they don't make enough.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 12:51pm
They can't. The level would be different depending on where you live. That being said, people doing the work that my dh and I do would be paid quite a bit more if we lived where you do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 12:53pm
That too.. LOL. The amounts there are pretty excessive for my area.

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