Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 12:59pm
From my own personal experience, I can tell you that there is a category of people who don't save because it's not possible to do so on the income they make. How big it is, I don't know, but I can't tell you I used to be one of them. If you haven't had the pleasure, count yourself as lucky. Perhaps having "been there, done that" makes me reluctant to speculate on how big that category is.

~Ghostwriter, M.A.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 1:00pm

Where do you get your numbers?

Do you really think you are in a good position to guess what the expenses are for the family of four with a household income of $30K?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 1:06pm
You have got to be kidding me. You know what, I am the very last person on this board who should ever be accused of never living the hard life... LOL. PNJ even considers my life now the hard life, although I would certainly never agree with that. I think it is precisely my experience as a low income person and with low income people that solidifies my position on this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 1:10pm
I don't think I've spent that much on clothes in the past 3 years, much less one. That's more than 1/3 of housing costs!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 1:19pm
I think your amount for clothing is skewed. My family of four does not spend $3k on clothing in a year - not even close.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 1:30pm

That's less than $100 per month for all that stuff, assuming you don't run over in the main categories.


Pretty tight squeeze isn't it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 1:33pm
$3000 for clothes seems like an awful lot to me too. But I'm sitting here wearing jeans from three years ago, Merrells from seven years ago, a t-shirt my SIL gave me when she purged her closets, and a sweatshirt I found at the Gap outlet. I don't suppose Madison Avenue is all too thrilled about my clothing spending habits.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 1:33pm

it's not any different than calling sah a piece of cake. i don't consider that offensive,at all. how can you not see that? i think woh would be selfish for my family and it would be irresponsible to consider a second income worth it because it's just not. none of what i just said is a reflection on you and why you woh,though. is it worthy of debate? sure it is. but debating and going to the extreme of selective favortism because of where someone's beliefs come from or who maybe spouting them is what happens on this board.

and about phoenix and mkatherine - no,i didn't read the "it's unfortunate THAT YOU...." to mkatherine. i do think that's wrong if that's the way it was spelled out. the inflamatory comments i read were the attacks and belittle of the nature of where her beliefs come from.....but what if phoenix would have shared it in the sense that i follow beliefs that consider homosexuality a sin. i don't know that she would have gotten any more of a pass. and that's simply because religion is the basis for her comment.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 1:39pm
From my own personal experience, I can tell you that there is a category of people who don't save because it's not possible to do so on the income they make. How big it is, I don't know, but I can't tell you I used to be one of them. If you haven't had the pleasure, count yourself as lucky. Perhaps having "been there, done that" makes me reluctant to speculate on how big that category is.



You are so right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 1:39pm
LOL.. I was just thinking about it.. the last time I shopped for myself was in September. (Nevermind that it was with a gift card I got for my birthday.. let's pretend it was my own money) I bought some fall/winter clothes, we moved in November, and I know those clothes are still sitting somewhere with the tags on. I'm not much of a shopper. And my dd only gets $3 Target t-shirts because everything she eats goes on the shirt.

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