Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 6:41pm

Your way to the Father is not my way no matter how often you espouse your beliefs on a public bulletin board. I too was brought up in a religion that believes homosexuality is a sin, but I rejected that teaching when I realized that it is not a choice, that it exists is almost all (if not all) species, and there's nothing wrong with it, IMO. My best friend from Sunday school and her partner has created a remarkable family through adoption. Her children and my children will not be brought up to believe that homosexuality is a sin, but we will have to answer their tough questions about the about the people who believe it to be so. But like other long civil rights battles, the tide is slowing turning towards understanding and acceptance.

There will still be people who will condemn homosexuals, but I believe they will be driven to the fringe much like racists and misogynists.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 6:59pm

http://www.census.gov/population/socdemo/statbriefs/agebrief.html

Looking at the chart on this site, I'd say the poverty rates among the elderly are high. White women stand a 15% of living below the poverty line in their golden years. That is scary to me.

You need to remember that poverty rates are for those living below a certain income for statistical purposes BUT reality is, living gets MORE expensive as we age. I know I said poverty rates but what I'm really thinking is the percent of people unable to meet their needs. Given the extra expenses of being old, many more would qualify for being poor if they took into account the need for additional services and medicines.

This source notes a 15% poverty rate for those under 65 and a range from 11-16% for seniors as you move from age 65 to 75. I wonder if the lower poverty rate at 65 is due to social security payments starting? That's something most of us posting here cannot count on.




Edited 2/13/2007 7:01 pm ET by gr8fulmom1
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:06pm

You also need to think of your spouse. When my father went into the nursing home, they wanted his half of their estate which would have left my step mother without a roof over her head had she not inherited some money from her father. They didn't seem to care that she needed the income off of their investments to live off of.

She was smart enough to get a laywer and they did help her protect some of the estate but I don't know how much she was able to keep. I know everything my father inherted from my grandparents is gone.

Yes "EVENTUALLY" medicaid will pay but not until you are broke.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:19pm

Not up on my scripture, so help me out?


Pretty sure Mathew, Mark, Luke and John had little to say about homosexuality. And I know for a fact that Jesus never mentioned it.

I don't remember that statement anywhere in the gospels either, but Paul may have said something, but then he said some really bizarre things too.

Definitely not a Catholic belief, so not applicable to MK. So how to you explain the estimated 3% to 10% incidence of homosexuality in all species - maybe an oops?

And I think there is a lot wrong in the name of religion. We can probably agree on the wrongness of the Spanish inquisition, the crusades and the jihadist movement of Islam.

I too believe that God's way is best, and I try to model that too. Perhaps the only thing that I took away from 16 years of Catholic education was a true belief in Christ's teaching was the way to live my life with the following standard:

Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. Matthew 22:36-40

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:19pm

I agree with everything you say.

And what is the saying, "There are many roads that lead to God".

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:24pm

Your *righteous judgment* does judge others though.

You are certainly entitled to your opinions, but dont sugarcoat it and say its not judgemental to think this way. Be honest about that at least.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:40pm
Yes, shoes, clothes, underwear, outerwear.....
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:45pm

so you chose to be straight right? woke up one day and said 'yup..I'm gonna be straight?" trust me if you think that anyone would willingly choose to be something that means you're considered an abberation by many you're wrongabout that.

Look, I posted to Eggs earlier that I have tried to be mindful this isn't the religion debate board nor the morality debate board and I'm here mostly b/c of my single WORKING mom status and b/c there are some smart and cool people here and b/c at heart I love a good debate.. I'm not here to debate who I fundamentally am and who I love. I've also posted to eggs that I have reconciled my place in the catholic church in my own heart and with God and I'm at peace with that and wiith raising my daughter in teh church. god made me who I am -- tall, bad at math, a great dancer, clumsy at times, quick witted, and gay. I'm at peace with it and so is my child..and for that matter so is my ex husband, his family, his fiance and her family, my friends and my family. I only had one friend turn from me when I came out-- what I was overwhelmingly met with was love, support and a expression of "thank goodness you finally figured out what most of us knew about you for a long time" In fact my sister was dying of cancer when I told her and she said "oh honey, wev'e all known that for YEARS, we were just waiting for you to accept it" So in my life there's God, there's love of my partner, my friends , my family, my child, there's an incredibely rewarding career and right now there's a glass of warm red shiraz awaiting me... ;-)

I respect you for sticking to your beliefs and I have no desire to get into this anymore...thanks for the good debate I enjoyed it!
K

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:51pm

My company froze my pension in June of last year. Now we have a defined contribution account. They put in 4% of my income per year and that's all I get for retirement.

I can't really blame the companies. Back when they made all those promises people were not living as long as they are and medical expenses were not nearly as expensive as they are today. Pensions and retiree beneifits have proven too big to handle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:54pm

Perhaps, but he gave his permission to moms to work when discussing the virtuous woman. She worked and her children called her rightious or something like that (sorry to lazy to look it up).

Given how little there is to do today WRT keeping house beause of our many modern conveniences and the biggest labor saving device of all, birth control, women are now free to contribute to their children's financial futures and that is a good thing.

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