Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 11:47am

I was thinking that if I included sports clothes (and shoes)

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 11:56am
I'm glad you can admit you probably aren't qualified. And as to whether I'd be any good at it, well, *I* wasn't trying to put numbers out there. Yet I do think I have a slight edge over you due to my upbringing. I grew up in a family with a very modest household income and I have a clue as to how much my family spent on clothes. I am guessing that you are lacking that experience. I know that at no time did my parents ever spend 10 percent of the household income on clothing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:05pm

I really don't know how much we spend on clothes a year. No clue. My reponse was more in relation to a family household income of $30,000, which is not my personal situation.

My dh can spend a lot of money on his wardrobe on occasion. So yes, we COULD be spending over $3000 in clothes a year. But surely what happens in my family has no bearing on this discussion, does it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:13pm

Did I give an amount?

Last year I spent over $500 in hockey gear for my dd, some of which I suppose you could call "clothing." This year I only had to buy her a new mouth guard ($8) and a Jill ($35.) I was pretty happy about that!

I think it would be hard to separate out sports equipment/clothing from seasonal fees. Most of the programs my kids are in, the uniform comes with the program fee. How does it work for your boys?

Regardless of whether sports gear is counted, it would take a long time for me to figure out our annual clothing expense because I just don't keep track of that kind of stuff. I buy clothes when I see a need. I also buy ahead. About three years ago, I bought eight pairs of Stride Rite and Lands End winter boots for about $12 a pair. I haven't had to buy until a month ago. How do I calculate that into a yearly clothing number? I don't have that accounting brain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:21pm

Nobody runs and tells me anything. I read the board selectively, usually on outline mode, and click on posts I'm interested in. Church history is something that interests me.

Mainstream Christians believe that the Holy Spirit was at work when the canon of the Scriptures was being developed. I can't think of a single canon list from the early centuries that leaves off the book of James. I know Martin Luther didn't like it, but that was in the 16th century.

The quotations you gave me are interesting, but they don't say anything about people running around looking for lost Scriptures.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:42pm

No, but you stated that $3000 seemed to be an awful lot.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:50pm

I dont think its that skewed if you live in a place that has harsh winters and/or you are involved in outdoor activities/sports.

I'd guess we spend close to 3k a year for the 4 of us, factoring in things like winter gear (snowboard pants for dd were $135 this year-thats just one item too), running shoes and clothing for dh and I (dh probably spends $500 a year JUST on running shoes), then adding in summer clothing and such too. We are pretty frugal but I would guess an absolute minimum of $500 each per year for clothing and outerwear for my family-usually a bit more than that.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:52pm

I agree. Like I said in another post, my dh spends about $500 a year JUST on running shoes, and I probably spend about $300 a year on them. Add in things like snowboard boots, snowpants, coats, ski and running socks-I dont think $3k a year is too far off. And I am pretty frugal.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 2:15pm

We livein the same area that PNJ lives. We have to have winter clothes and summer clothes (not quite as much winter as you do). We have sports too. I guess the sports our kids are involved in are less equipement oriented (swimming, tennis, soccer).

I am with you on running shoes- that is our biggest outlay between DH and I.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 2:19pm
All 4. But, as I have admitted, I'm on the wacky side of frugal.

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